Parenting is undeniably stressful. Despite this, there’s an expectation for us to maintain a calm demeanor, even as our toddlers cling to our legs and scream. The reality is, anger is a part of the parenting journey. There will be moments when your frustration peaks, and you might feel the urge to escape into the woods, never to return. After nine years of fatherhood, I can assure you that feeling this way is completely acceptable—sometimes, it’s even vital for your well-being.
It’s perfectly reasonable to feel angry as a parent when:
- You have a degree but can’t grasp the complexities of third-grade math.
- You’ve been up with a child for what feels like an eternity, only to have them pop back up the moment you think they’re asleep.
- You’re on an important call navigating a bureaucratic maze while your kids incessantly pull at your pants, asking questions that can wait.
- You’re stuck in a sweltering car for hours, and your kids can’t stop bickering over who gets to hold the snack bag.
- Your toddler decides to launch your phone into the toilet.
- Your child digs their heels in at the park, refusing to leave, and you’re racing against the clock to pick up your older child from school.
- After spending hours preparing a meal, your child looks at you and asks in an entitled tone, “How many bites do I have to take?”
- You’ve spent an eternity persuading a child to do their homework while multitasking with dinner, only to have them vanish or burst into tears.
- You’re trying to wrangle hyper kids for bedtime, and the sheer exhaustion makes you want to scream.
- Your child lies to you about something trivial but infuriating.
- Your child wakes up before dawn for days on end, demanding to watch their favorite show.
- You witness your child hit another kid over something minor, and you’re left questioning your parenting.
- Your child decides that your one nice piece of furniture needs some “artistic” touch with a marker.
- You have to work late and miss a school performance that meant a lot to them.
- Your child feigns illness to avoid chores.
- Your child floods the bathtub, then insists you shouldn’t be upset because it’s not a big deal.
- Your toddler creates a “masterpiece” out of poop.
- You back out of a crowded grocery store parking lot while your kids scream for attention, accidentally bumping into another car.
- You worry when your child is unwell and can’t secure the medical help they need.
- You calmly explain to your child why they’re in trouble, only for them to declare you a bad parent.
These are just a few examples. Learning to cope with those moments of anger is one of the toughest parts of being a parent. It’s crucial to remember that while you might feel frustrated, it’s never okay to take that anger out on your kids. In the grand scope of parenting, nothing is worth jeopardizing your child’s emotional well-being. Eventually, you’ll look back on these moments and laugh—or so I’ve been told.
It’s normal to feel anger. You can express it by punching a pillow, letting out a scream in the bathroom, or just stepping away until you regain your composure. What truly distinguishes a great parent is how they handle these feelings.
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In summary, it’s completely normal to feel anger and frustration as a parent. Acknowledging these feelings and learning to manage them is key to maintaining a healthy family dynamic.