When my first child came along, I was all in. I attended every single event without fail. School plays, baseball games, soccer matches — you name it, I was there. I balanced schedules, toddlers, meal times, and even my own sanity, all in the name of parenting. But why? Because society insists that being present at every event is essential. What kind of parent would miss their child’s activities? Right?
I thought the answer was none. I pushed aside my own needs—sleep, food, even work—because my kids came first. That was the mantra I lived by.
Then, I welcomed three more kids into the fold, and reality hit hard. It became clear that being at every single event was no longer feasible. And you know what? The world didn’t end. They still played their sports, performed their routines, and had fun, all without me in the audience.
Did I feel guilty? Absolutely. For years, I struggled with the notion that missing events equated to failing as a parent. But here’s the truth: not being present for every event does not make you a bad parent. Life is busy; work happens, and it’s simply impossible to be everywhere at once.
Still think you should be able to manage everything for your kids? That’s a myth. Your children don’t need an overwhelmed parent who sacrifices their well-being. The last thing they need is a mom or dad who is running on empty.
I’ve missed countless events, yet I refuse to feel guilty about it. I’ve made sure my kids understand that my absence doesn’t stem from a lack of desire to be there. I want to support them, but I also realize that life has its limitations. With a busy household and a plethora of activities, it’s inevitable that I’ll miss some things. Kids understand more than we give them credit for.
So, if you find yourself unable to attend every single event, who can step in? This is where the concept of community comes into play — that age-old saying, “it takes a village.” It’s not just a nice idea; it’s something we need to actively participate in.
When I recognized that I couldn’t juggle everything, I reached out to other parents. A simple request like, “Hey, I can’t make it to the soccer game today. Would you be able to take my son?” usually gets a positive response. People love to help; all you need to do is ask. And the next week, I’ll return the favor. “If you can’t make it to the game, let me take your kid. I’ll cheer for them and bring a snack!”
Every mom I know has moments when they need a break. If that break happens to coincide with a kid’s event, then it’s time to support one another rather than shame someone for not being present. Because I can assure you, there will come a day when you’ll need support too.
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In summary, it’s completely okay to miss some of your kids’ events. Life is busy, and you don’t have to do it all. Embrace the support of your community, ask for help when needed, and remember that your presence isn’t the only way to show love.