I hear a slight crash followed by a thud and then bursts of laughter. Another muffled thump echoes, and I can picture little bodies tumbling around on the floor. “Quit sitting on me! Quit sitting on me!” yells my 6-year-old, while the 4-year-old erupts in giggles. Another thud resonates through the house.
Yep, the kids are at it again with their playful wrestling. And you know what? I’m not stopping them.
I’m the proud parent of three boys, and my husband is the kind of dad who embraces roughhousing. He’s the one who swings them upside down and encourages them to create a “bro stack” on his back, with the oldest on top. He enjoys tickling and wrestling with them, even engaging in a game they call “sloth,” where they cling to his arm like little monkeys while he spins around.
While I might not join in on the more intense play, I never shy away from affection. There’s always at least one child trying to snuggle into my lap, and I often carry the nearly 3-year-old around. My boys love to fight for a spot next to me on the couch, and even my oldest holds my hand when we’re out and about, like strolling through Target or walking down the street. We’re a family that thrives on physical connection.
Thanks to my husband’s playful nature, the boys naturally engage in roughhousing with each other. A simple game of hiding under the blankets can quickly transform into light-hearted baby punches. They roll around, sit on each other, and sometimes even curl up together to sleep like little kittens. Sure, one of them might let out a yowl now and then, but they know their limits. They avoid hitting faces and other sensitive areas, and they have a clear understanding of each other’s boundaries.
So, I let them roughhouse. I genuinely believe it’s beneficial for their development.
Research supports this notion. Physical touch triggers the release of oxytocin, a hormone that significantly influences social behavior. According to Psych Central, oxytocin fosters trust, diminishes fear, and enhances empathy among children. It also plays a role in alleviating stress and anxiety. Furthermore, in their book The Art of Roughhousing and Why Kids Need It, authors Dr. Anthony T. DeBenedet and Lawrence J. Cohen make compelling arguments about the necessity of rough play for kids, highlighting that it can enhance intelligence, emotional awareness, and moral understanding—all great reasons to allow kids to wrestle.
My sons have an innate understanding of which friends they can engage in rough play with, just as they recognize when to keep their hands to themselves. Some children aren’t fans of roughhousing, and my boys adapt accordingly. They have friends from one family who likely have never even touched each other, and they know better than to tackle or wrestle with them. Conversely, my oldest has a buddy who enjoys wrestling just as much as his brothers do. One time, the other boy’s mom misinterpreted their playful wrestling for something more dangerous, but it was just innocent fun while wearing life jackets.
In today’s world, this approach to parenting might seem unconventional. The rise of helicopter parenting has made many overly cautious about potential injuries, so two kids rolling around together can appear risky. Parents often attribute every minor injury to specific causes, and if that cause involves two kids wrestling, it’s seen as a failure on the parents’ part. As a result, roughhousing is often labeled as a behavior of “bad kids” and “bad parents.” Many parents opt to teach their kids to “keep your hands to yourself” instead of allowing playful tumbling.
I sometimes receive disapproving looks at the playground when my kids tackle each other or pretend to duel with sticks. What those judgmental observers fail to understand is that my kids only wrestle when it’s fun. They’re not allowed to fight out of anger or to settle disputes over toys. If that happens, I’m right there to step in. Consent is key here; if both kids aren’t on board, it’s not the kind of play we endorse. We call that fighting.
So, as long as my boys are having fun and both parties agree, I’m all for their roughhousing antics. I won’t intervene, nor should I have to. If you’re interested in exploring more about family dynamics and parenting, check out this insightful post on home insemination kits. If you’re curious about artificial insemination, Make a Mom is definitely worth a visit. And for a deeper understanding of conception methods, this Wikipedia entry provides excellent information.
In summary, allowing kids to engage in roughhousing can be beneficial for their emotional and social development, and as long as boundaries are respected, it can lead to healthy interactions and growth.