Moving can be a daunting experience at any stage in life. It’s a whirlwind of emotions and labor—clearing out clutter, packing up belongings, and wrestling with tape while wrapping fragile items in whatever is on hand. The physical toll is real: sore muscles, scraped fingers, and chipped nails. Then there’s the cleaning of the old space before embarking on the lengthy journey of settling into a new home. It’s a lot to handle. But when you throw kids into the mix—especially school-aged ones—the challenge multiplies, and along with the boxes come heavy doses of parental guilt and anxiety.
When my partner, Jake, received an offer for his dream job seven hours away, declining was not an option. Yet, from the moment he accepted, I was consumed with worry. I envisioned our children struggling to adjust, feeling isolated, and ultimately blaming us for uprooting their lives. The thought of them growing into unhappy adults, and tracing it all back to our decision, haunted me. They had no say in the matter.
The reality was that Jake and I made the call as the “grown-ups” (most of the time, anyway), and we had to inform the kids, “Hey, we’re moving, deal with it!” Sure, I set rules daily, but this was different. It felt weightier than the usual “finish your veggies” or “brush your teeth.” It’s tough being a kid when big decisions don’t involve your input, even if the intention is to provide a better life.
They had to leave their school, which held so many memories. I remember my first visit to Maple Grove Elementary as a nervous parent of a kindergartener. Years later, I left with tears in my eyes, saying goodbye to the teachers and staff who had nurtured my three kids. These were people who knew them deeply, embracing their quirks and needs. What if their new school didn’t welcome them the same way?
They had to leave their friends too. While I didn’t love all their pals—like that one kid who had an unfortunate incident in our yard—these were the kids my children had chosen to bond with. They had shared countless moments of laughter and mischief together. Leaving that friendship behind felt like tearing a piece of their childhood away.
We also had to say goodbye to our neighborhood. We were fortunate to have good neighbors who were like family. If my kids ever needed anything, they knew they could count on those around us. Our neighbors had patched up scraped knees, taken them on nature walks, and shared treats during Halloween. What if our new neighbors weren’t as friendly or welcoming?
Lastly, they had to leave the only home they’d ever known. My eldest, Ava, was just two when we purchased our first house, and my other three kids had never lived anywhere else. This home was their safe haven, a place they could navigate with their eyes closed. Now, they were expected to adapt to an unfamiliar environment, and I’d have to remind them countless times where to find their things.
Ultimately, the move unfolded far more smoothly than I anticipated. I had blown my worries out of proportion, and the kids adjusted better than I could have hoped. I hadn’t given them enough credit for their resilience. We met their new teachers and explored the school together. We introduced ourselves to our new neighbors and used technology to help the kids stay connected with old friends. They delighted in discovering the nooks and crannies of our new home and even enjoyed scouting out the backyard. We took walks to explore our new community and quickly got involved with local library events and programs.
Of course, they miss our old neighborhood, and so do I—yet I believe we will create just as many cherished memories here if we allow ourselves the time to adjust. After all, our old home was once new too.
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Summary
Moving can incite feelings of guilt and anxiety for parents, especially when children are involved. While the transition can be daunting, embracing the change and remaining open to new experiences can lead to resilience and growth.