[Trigger Warning: Contains discussion of child loss]
On a seemingly ordinary day, my son, Ethan, embraced a newfound sense of bravery and independence that would forever alter our lives. Just shy of his second birthday, Ethan’s curiosity led him to a tragic accident that changed everything.
We had just started moving into my father’s home following my mother’s passing three months earlier. With boxes scattered around, I stepped into the kitchen for a brief moment, only about 20 feet away from where Ethan was engrossed in his favorite show, munching on some raisins. My husband was busy in the garage with my father.
The French doors leading to the backyard opened directly onto our in-ground pool. It was a door I believed was secure—a door I thought Ethan wouldn’t attempt to open. When I returned to the room, I noticed he was gone. Assuming he was playing, I began calling out for him, “Ethan! Where are you?” My husband and father joined in the search outside. Moments later, I heard a chilling splash followed by a scream. My husband dove in, my father frantically dialed 911, while I stood frozen in shock, my heart racing. I can still hear my father’s desperate cries, “He’s in the pool! Oh, no! He’s in the pool!”
Living in a house with a pool, I never recognized the heightened risks involved. I had reassured my mother-in-law that Ethan would never be outside unsupervised, especially since she lived in Florida, where tragic drownings occur almost daily. If only I had understood the importance of vigilance while living in the four seasons of New Jersey.
That day, I underestimated Ethan. He was a typical toddler, perhaps even more cautious than most. Earlier that very morning, I had remarked on how attached he was to me. For any parent reading this, I once thought my child was safe from such dangers. I can’t say for certain whether the door was locked, but had I been more aware of water safety, I would have ensured it. Just as we childproof our homes by securing chemicals and cleaners under the sink, we must take pools, ponds, and streams seriously.
According to the CDC, children aged 1 to 4 have the highest drowning rates, with most incidents occurring in residential pools. It’s the leading cause of death in that age group, second only to motor vehicle accidents for children aged 1 to 14. Had I prioritized water safety through education and proper fencing, Ethan’s life might have been saved. Research shows that a four-sided isolation fence can reduce drowning risk by 83%. This principle inspired the town ordinance named after Ethan.
In the months following our loss, we found solace in our community, coming together with our clergy. Almost a year later, our synagogue’s cantor shared that she had applied for a permit for a swimming pool in the same town where Ethan had tragically drowned. She learned that fencing laws had been updated, and the clerk mentioned, “because of that little boy that died.”
With a swirl of emotions, my husband reached out to the town for more information. We discovered the Child Fatality and Near Fatality Review Board, which investigates how accidents involving children might have been prevented. Ethan’s case had been presented to the board anonymously. Seeing his initials in the documents was haunting. We urged the committee to name the ordinance after Ethan, to give it a face and a story. Now officially called Ethan’s Ordinance, it mandates that all new pool constructions must have a four-sided barrier with a locking entrance. In a bittersweet way, it felt as if Ethan was alive again, helping to save lives.
You may be thinking, “This could never happen to me. I keep a close eye on my child. They can swim.” But I’ve spoken with many mothers who have shared their close calls, children slipping out unnoticed, darting into traffic, or climbing stairs unsupervised. Losing a child is a tragedy that’s difficult to articulate, particularly for those who have never faced such a loss.
I know that lives have already been saved because of Ethan. Please, stay vigilant around water. Educate yourself on water safety measures. Ensure that all doors leading to pools are securely locked. Don’t assume it could never happen to you. For those interested in learning more about safe practices, consider visiting this resource for more information on pregnancy and safety measures you can take.
In summary, water safety is crucial for all parents. Tragedies can happen in the blink of an eye, and awareness can save lives.