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Oh No: The Enigma of the Laundry Room Surprise
by Clara Jenkins
Updated: June 2, 2020
Originally Published: Oct. 30, 2016
Once upon a time, I discovered an unexpected surprise on my laundry room floor: a solitary, mid-sized nugget of poop. It stood out against the smooth linoleum, and I squinted at it while mentally running through the list of housemates — four little ones, two dogs, and two cats — trying to figure out who was responsible for this mess. The only ones I could definitively rule out were myself and my partner, leaving a long list of suspects. Regardless of the culprit, it needed to be cleaned up. As a seasoned expert in such matters, I swiftly handled it. In the grand scheme of my adult life, one poop was hardly an issue.
However, it was precisely that: just one. Any parent knows that when it comes to poop, single occurrences are as rare as a unicorn. This unfortunate realization prompted a thorough investigation. I conducted an extensive search of the laundry room and the entire downstairs, a quest so meticulous it could have impressed even the most seasoned detective. Yet, I found nothing—no smears, no trails, no clues to indicate where this turd had come from or if it had any siblings lurking nearby.
I could only assume it originated from the cats’ litter box. Perhaps one of them had missed the mark, and one of the dogs had proudly carried it downstairs. It was a stretch, but it was the most plausible explanation I could come up with. Sometimes, life just hands you unsatisfactory answers.
Later, I found myself back in the laundry room, where I typically am when I’m not busy driving kids around or cooking. This time, I had come to retrieve my son’s sheets and comforter from the washing machine. As I opened the door, I was greeted by the familiar scent of laundry detergent, but this time, it was marred by a foul odor that quickly caught my attention. Something was off—something that could only be described as… poop.
I hesitated for a moment, hoping the problem would resolve itself if I just stood there. But then, my eyes fell on a waxy brown smudge on the washer door, followed by another similar mark on the seal, looking slightly grainy. That’s when the dreadful truth hit me like a ton of bricks. I had washed a pile of poop.
Everything clicked into place. Earlier that day, I had tossed my son’s bedding onto the floor, planning to wash it right away. But then life happened—my phone rang, I got sidetracked unloading the dishwasher, and there were cupcakes to enjoy—leading me to forget about the laundry for several hours. During that time, one of my dogs had chosen that very spot to relieve itself. I hadn’t noticed, and when I finally loaded the bedding into the washer, I inadvertently included the turd. Ugh.
I still can’t fathom how I missed the smell before. Sure, my son’s bedding needed a wash, but it wasn’t that filthy. Maybe I was breathing through my mouth, or perhaps one of the kids had used the neighboring bathroom without turning on the exhaust fan. Whatever the reason, the mystery of the lone turd was finally solved. The washer was sanitized, and the bedding was rewashed—twice, just to be safe.
This experience taught me an important lesson: always check for surprises, not just in pockets but everywhere else too. As the saying goes, “You can’t polish a turd,” but I can say that I inadvertently tried, and it was quite the adventure! If you’re interested in exploring more about home insemination, check out this helpful resource on fertility boosters for men and treatment options for pregnancy. For more insights, feel free to visit this article as well.
Summary:
In a humorous tale, Clara Jenkins recounts her unexpected discovery of a single turd in her laundry room. After a thorough investigation, she realizes that her dog had likely carried it in after she had tossed her son’s bedding on the floor. The incident leads to a valuable lesson about checking for surprises before doing laundry.