You know the mom I’m talking about. Maybe you’ve even been that mom yourself — the one at the playground, the museum, the grocery store, or story time at the library. You spot another toddler who seems to be the same age as your little one, and you can’t help but observe. You listen intently, wondering if they’re talking yet, trying to gauge how many words you can decipher. Then, you initiate a casual chat with the other parent, steering the conversation toward the ages of your kids, hoping that if their child is speaking, they are considerably older than yours — the one who hasn’t uttered a single word yet.
It’s a common reality that many toddlers at this age are already talking, and once again, you’re reminded of your child’s silence.
I have a vibrant 23-month-old daughter named Mia, full of energy and curiosity, and we live in a small town. Our social interactions mostly come from church, the park, and library visits. On a recent trip to Grandma’s house, we were surrounded by toddlers wherever we went, and I found myself paying close attention.
At the playground, other children shouted, “Watch me! Slide! Swing!” During story time, they eagerly answered the librarian’s questions about the illustrations. On the walking trail, they exclaimed, “Look, water!” And at the kids’ museum, they declared “Mine!” as they clutched their toys. With each word I heard, I was painfully aware of my daughter’s quietness.
My mom has always reminded me that toddlers don’t consult parenting books or developmental milestones; they progress at their own pace. Mia didn’t crawl until she was a year old, which felt like ages, especially when I saw videos of peers zooming around on their hands and knees.
Now, her lack of speech feels deeply personal. I find myself placing blame on myself, wishing I had read more to her, introduced sign language, or taken her to more toddler activities. I get caught up in what I should have done, forgetting to truly see her in the moment.
In my focus on her silence, I’ve overlooked the beautiful and unique gifts she brings to my life. It’s a challenge, I admit. I long to hear her voice call me “Mama,” to know how she’ll express her thoughts about the world around her. But as I listen for her words, I also see so much more. I witness her affection for our dog, her excitement in reaching for books every morning, and her laughter as she turns the pages. I see her run toward story time, hands raised in eagerness. I notice her open arms offering hugs to her playmates, her hands folded in prayer, and her joyful cheers for her dad during Sunday service.
When I shift my focus away from what she isn’t doing, I open my eyes to everything she is doing — the wonder and curiosity she embodies. I may still wonder about the ages of other toddlers and listen with longing for their words, but my heart is full as I appreciate each moment with Mia.
Until the day she starts speaking, I will cherish the time I have to truly see her.
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Summary
This article reflects the journey of a mother navigating the challenges of having a toddler who isn’t talking yet. It explores feelings of comparison, self-doubt, and the beauty of recognizing the unique milestones and joys in her child’s life. The author emphasizes the importance of being present and appreciating the non-verbal expressions of love and curiosity that children exhibit as they grow.