When I was a teenager, I stumbled upon the realization that my mother was snooping through my diary. The emotions I felt were a mix of anger and betrayal, especially since I had recently penned a dramatic entry criticizing her strict rules. You know, classic teenage rebellion from a girl in the ’90s sporting green hair and combat boots, who occasionally lit up in the school restroom.
Now, as a parent to a pre-teen, I find myself in a similar situation regarding my son’s smartphone. Should I monitor his activity or not? As an adult reflecting on those feelings of exposure, my answer is clear: I keep a close eye on that device.
The reason I’m comfortable taking on the role of a digital detective is simple — these are electronic devices. Unlike my diary, which was a private sanctuary, my son’s phone connects him to the vast world of social media and instant communication. It’s a different ballgame today.
When we decided to get my son his first smartphone, we established clear guidelines. Our conversation went something like this: “This phone is a tool granted by your dad and me. You can use it for communication and entertainment, but only if you follow the rules about schoolwork, activities, and religious commitments. I will be reviewing the contents of this phone regularly. Every text, Snapchat, Instagram post, and email will eventually come under my watchful eye. If there’s anything you wouldn’t want me to see, maybe it’s best not to share it at all. Remember, this is our property, and privilege can be revoked if your responsibilities aren’t met.”
By laying out these expectations upfront, it transformed the issue from a potential invasion of privacy into a proactive approach to ensure my son and his friends steer clear of trouble. I also want to be the one who discusses important topics with him as they arise, rather than leaving it to his friends to explain. Shudders at the thought
It’s not that I don’t trust my son; it’s the outside influences that concern me. Allowing him access to global technology without guidance feels like a recipe for chaos. I certainly don’t want him growing up to be a cautionary tale, and spoiler alert: I don’t.
In the digital landscape, privacy is a tricky concept, especially when kids can share their lives with the world at the click of a button. However, if my son were to keep a personal diary tucked away, that’s something I would respect and never read.
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In summary, while monitoring my teen’s phone may feel invasive to some, I believe it’s a necessary measure to protect him in an increasingly complex digital world. I want to be the one guiding him through important conversations and decisions, rather than leaving him to figure it out on his own.