Today, I did something I thought I would never do: I stepped on the scale in front of my daughter. It was a moment that caught me off guard. I simply tapped the scale to activate it, slipped off my pajamas, and climbed on. That’s when I noticed her curious little eyes fixed on me.
Oh no, I thought.
Before she was born, I promised myself I wouldn’t project my own body image issues onto my daughter. I had envisioned conversations celebrating our bodies as incredible vessels that carry us through life. I wanted to use empowering words like “strong” and “capable,” steering clear of terms like “thin” and “beautiful.” I aimed to break the cycle of body shame and show my daughter that I embrace myself at any size. But life has a funny way of altering our plans.
As the days turned into sleepless nights, I found myself lost in the chaos of parenting. There were countless diaper changes, mountains of laundry, and more spit-up stains than I could count. In the midst of this whirlwind, my comments began to change. “Mommy used to fit in these pants,” I’d say, struggling with a stubborn zipper. “Before you came along, I had a waist,” I’d mutter while fishing out another oversized shirt from the laundry pile. Without realizing it, I was teaching her that body size was something to be measured and judged.
Then came this morning. I stepped on the scale as I had done many times before—just like I did at 20 when my boyfriend told me I was “too much.” But those sweet little eyes were watching me. In her world, I’m perfection. My tired, sagging body is a five-star restaurant to her. My soft belly was a shelter for her during the ten months she spent in my womb. My arms are just the right size for her hugs, and my hips are perfectly shaped for our kitchen dance parties. She doesn’t care about the number on the scale or the size of my jeans. I’m her mom, and to her, I’m incredible (at least until she becomes a teenager).
And you know what? She is amazing too. Her bright smile lights up the room. I see her strong legs carrying her as she learns to navigate this world. I feel her delight in mastering new skills, whether reaching for a toy or taking her first steps.
So, rather than promising to hide my body image struggles from her—something I’ve clearly failed at—I’m committing to being honest. I will explain that the world can sometimes be unkind to women regarding their appearance. There are mean-spirited individuals who try to define a woman’s worth by her looks, as if our value lies only in the length of our legs or the size of our waists. Sometimes, these voices are amplified by media and those in authority.
But I will also teach her that these notions are wrong. Anyone who treats a woman as merely an object is unworthy of our respect or attention. Everyone, regardless of gender, size, or skin color, deserves to exist, to be heard, and to be valued for who they truly are, not how they appear.
Instead, I will guide her into a world filled with kindness and authenticity. A world where people uplift one another, celebrate victories, and support each other through tough times, regardless of physical appearance. Thankfully, we have many such individuals in our lives.
Indeed, I grapple with the pressure to conform to societal standards that tell me I’m too big or too much. Ignoring my feelings won’t equip my daughter to handle similar experiences when they arise in her life.
So today, I’m making a new promise. I will be truthful about my struggles. I will acknowledge that while I am a strong and capable woman, the pressure to fit a certain mold can sometimes overwhelm me. I will also show her that real beauty is reflected in kindness, intelligence, and strength—qualities that far outweigh any arbitrary number on a scale.
And when the moment calls for it, I’ll let her watch me smash that scale to pieces with a sledgehammer, symbolizing my commitment to self-love.
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Summary
In this reflective piece, the author shares her journey of navigating body image struggles while raising her daughter. She emphasizes the importance of honesty and open communication about societal pressures regarding appearance. By committing to fostering a positive body image and teaching her daughter the value of kindness and strength over superficial judgments, she aims to break the cycle of body shame.