There are certain milestones in life that you just know will alter your existence forever. From starting a new job to getting married, having a child, and, yes, potty training your little one. Expect a mix of highs and lows, but one thing is certain: the journey to the potty can be a challenging one.
1. You’ll Overestimate the Ease of It All
“Potty training” sounds delightful, doesn’t it? One might think it’s a breeze, involving just a few days of asking if your child needs to “go potty,” a couple of minutes on the bathroom floor, and maybe a pack of Pull-Ups for nighttime. That might seem true in an ideal world where children eat whatever is served and hit the hay at 7 p.m. sharp. However, in reality, potty training can be quite messy—both figuratively and literally.
2. Your Savings May Not Be What You Expect
One of the more appealing aspects of potty training is the thought of saying goodbye to diapers for good. Calculating the cost—10 diapers a day multiplied by one baby—could lead to dreams of financial freedom. What will you do with that newfound cash? Treat yourself to a shopping spree? Perhaps a romantic getaway? Think again. You’ll likely end up spending that money bribing your child to use the toilet. What begins as a single candy piece may escalate to new toys or even a trip to Disney World. Never underestimate the lengths you’ll go to for potty success.
3. Everything Becomes a Toilet to Your Toddler
What’s just like a toilet? Nothing! However, try telling that to a not-quite-potty-trained 2-year-old. They might grasp the concept of “going in the toilet,” but the “only in the toilet” part? Not so much. Acceptable alternatives may include a suitcase, a measuring cup, your brand-new shoes, or even the dog bowl. Prepare yourself for creative toilet substitutes during this phase.
4. You’ll Annoy Yourself
You might find yourself asking your child if they need to go every few minutes. Perhaps you’ll become fixated on rating the cleanliness of public restrooms nearby. Or maybe it’s the catchy “Pooping is fun; we wipe when we’re done” song that becomes a daily anthem. At some point, you may pause and think, “What am I even doing?” Hopefully, it’s before you decide to share your potty rap on social media.
5. Your Language Will Change
During potty training, it may feel like your conversations are permanently tuned to 99.9 POOP FM. You’ll struggle to go a few hours without the words “pee-pee” or “poo-poo” slipping out. For the sake of everyone around you, remember that no one wants to hear about Timmy’s near-miss with the “flushie hole.”
It will take immense patience, dedication, and perhaps a few strong cocktails, but the day will come when you can hand over the reins to your little one and say goodbye to your role as the “designated tush wiper.”
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In summary, potty training is an adventure filled with unexpected twists and turns. From the joys of saving on diapers to the reality of toddler logic, it can be a wild ride. But ultimately, it’s a step toward growing independence for your little one, and the end is in sight!