Gather round, my lovely little ones, because I have some things to say that might just ruffle your feathers. It’s time for this constant whining about me (yes, your wonderfully imperfect mother) to come to an end, or you might just witness a full-on meltdown from yours truly.
Honestly, you’ve nearly pushed me to my limits 657 times this week alone—don’t even get me started on the actual moments when I did lose it! I understand that your life involves sitting in the car, jamming to your tunes, and playing on your iPad while I chauffeur you around, but it’s high time you recognize the sheer brilliance of having me as your mom and cut back on the complaints.
I know that my heartfelt “I love you” and those last-minute cheek kisses as I drop you off at school might feel like a form of torture, but let me assure you, it’s just part of the job description. I’ve earned the right to smother you with affection until my very last breath.
Just remember, I held you close every night when you were tiny and needed that warmth to drift off to sleep. I need my cuddles too—so when I lean in for a kiss or a sniff of your sweet little head, it’s because my heart is overflowing with love. It breaks my heart every time you pull away and call me annoying.
Family Photos
And let’s talk about family photos for a second. Yes, I know you find them unbearable, but capturing our family adventures is important to me! The agony of holding still for a moment pales in comparison to the chaos I endured when I was surrounded by a room full of wild kids, longing for some peace and quiet. So, let’s take that picture and save the theatrics for later.
I get it, you think I’m the worst for making you change out of your dirty clothes before dinner or any event. But guess what? I’m one of those “bad moms” who believes cleanliness counts. And manners? Oh, don’t even get me started. I’d settle for you not tooting on your sibling’s leg or cleaning up that Nutella explosion in the kitchen.
Target Trips
When I’m at Target chatting with a friend, just chill, okay? Don’t come whining about how I’m making you “suffer.” Remember all those times I let you stay an extra few minutes at playdates? Well, consider this my playdate too. So let me enjoy my chat without you tugging at me or curling up under the coat rack.
And yes, I know I seem to need the bathroom all the time. But let’s keep things in perspective—I did push three of you out of my body, after all! So if I need to take a quick break, just remember it’s not all about you, my busy and important kiddos.
Dance Moves and Snacks
On another note, my dance moves and singing skills might not make the cut in your cool factor, but you better believe I’ll break out into song whenever the mood strikes—friends in tow or not! I’ll own the car dance party, even if it feels like the end of days for you.
And about those French fries? Guess what? I paid for them, so I will help myself. Same goes for dessert—if you don’t eat it fast enough, it’s fair game for me.
Simple Courtesies
It would be great if you could start holding the door open for me without being reminded. After all, I wiped your behind for years, so this seems like a small price to pay.
And let’s not get too embarrassed about my fashion choices. Seriously, why is it okay for you guys to rock mismatched socks and holes in your tights, but my culottes are a fashion faux pas? Nobody’s looking at me; they’re focused on your boxers hanging out!
Embracing Quirks
So, let’s tone down the complaints about your quirky mother with a bladder that’s been through the wringer thanks to your big heads. You might think I’m uncool now, but one day you’ll realize just how amazing I truly am—especially when you find yourself dealing with kids who complain about their own “uncool” parents!
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In summary, let’s embrace each other’s quirks and maybe cut back on the grumbling. One day, you’ll look back fondly at this time and appreciate all the little moments we shared.