This past weekend, while watching a soccer game, I glanced around during halftime and noticed everyone, including myself, glued to their phones. I imagined that many were texting their partners about stopping by the store or updating a friend who couldn’t make it. Others might have been scrolling through social media.
Amidst this digital distraction, I spotted a little girl in a pink swing coat and blue beanie, perched on the ground and observing the crowd. She seemed to be the only one without a device in hand, and her curious gaze made me think: if toddlers could text, what kinds of conversations would they have? I bet they’d be absolutely hilarious, filled with messages about potty mishaps, snack time secrets, and tips on being mischievous.
- “OMG, I had two blowouts today! Mom had to toss one of my outfits because the peas from last night went everywhere. It was epic!”
- “Mom dragged me through Target AGAIN. I screamed the whole time. She was mad, but whatever! I just want to chill with my Binky, you feel me?”
- “Mom is sipping that pretty pink drink in a fancy glass again. It makes her all smiley, and I keep trying to snag some, but she just hands me my sippy cup. When do we get the fancy juice?”
- “Mom claims she makes all my food from scratch and that it’s organic! But no way, that stuff comes in a jar with a kid on it that looks just like me. So cray!”
- “Pro tip: if you throw your food on the floor while in your high chair, someone will keep picking it up for you. Works like a charm in the shopping cart too! Total blast!”
- “FYI, biting down while nursing? Bad idea. Mama freaks out and takes away the milky-juice faster than you can say ‘oops.’”
- “Hey, I managed to get some scissors and privacy! You should see my bangs—so on point.”
- “Just a heads up, if you flush your favorite toy down the toilet, it won’t come back, and you’ll get soaked. Don’t do it.”
- “Guess what? I totally peed on my own face during a diaper change today. It scared me, but it was hilarious! Shhh, don’t tell anyone.”
- “Mom peeked in my diaper and got poop on her finger again! Why does she keep doing this?”
- “There’s no way I’m napping today. I got a new Paw Patrol book, and it’s too good to put down!”
- “Today’s the playdate! Can’t wait to see you. Mom has those new squeeze yogurts we can smear everywhere!”
- “I was so hyper last night, and now Mom’s super annoyed, drinking her black coffee. I’ll try to be chill tonight, but nighttime is when the fun really begins!”
- “You never know true pain until you start teething. It’s the worst. Being one years old is tough.”
- “Tommy came over yesterday, and I can’t stand him! He’s all potty trained and thinks he’s so cool. It’s all his mom talks about. I gotta step up my potty training game.”
- “Stuck in the car right now, can’t wait to get home and ditch these pants. I just want to be free!”
- “Sometimes I just want to relax with my buddy Caillou, but Mom keeps changing the channel. I miss him—he gets me.”
- “Guess what? I figured out how to buy video games on the iPad! Genius move! I’ll fill you in at the park next time.”
While it would be a riot to see these little ones exchanging texts, I’m glad they have a few years before they dive into the world of technology. As I sat in the bleachers that day, when our eyes met, I realized I’d rather pay attention to her than my phone. So, I put my device away and handed her a leaf I found. Even though she tossed it aside and reached for my bag, those few seconds of her fascination with the leaf were pure magic.
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In summary, imagining what toddlers would text each other reveals their hilarious perspectives on life. While we might be glued to our phones, let’s not forget to appreciate the small, magical moments that happen all around us.