Updated: July 15, 2023
Originally Published: November 15, 2021
As a new mom to twin boys, I’ve come to learn that the journey is filled with sleepless nights and a low tolerance for the well-meaning yet often ridiculous comments I receive. “Twins?! What’s that like? I’ve always dreamed of having twins!” they say. While I adore my little ones, I can’t quite grasp why anyone would wish for two infants at once. It seems that people expect me to gush about the magic of twin life, but here’s the reality check: it’s hard AF. When I share that little secret, their faces often mirror that of a child who’s just learned that Santa isn’t real, as if they genuinely believed twins were the ultimate blessing. Yes, there are double the giggles, but there’s also a triple demand for wine.
Living with twins is like being on a never-ending episode of “Chopped,” the cooking competition show where contestants must create dishes using surprise ingredients under time constraints. For those unfamiliar, each round starts with an introduction to absurd items the contestants must incorporate, like rusty nails and powdered cheese sauce. The stress is palpable, and mistakes abound, often resulting in chaos.
Now, picture my version of that show: my reality is navigating the hour between daycare pickup and bedtime. Instead of surprise ingredients, I face a list of must-do tasks before the clock strikes 7 p.m. and the hunger cries commence. The stakes are high, and oh, the reward (wine) is enticing.
“In this round, Mommy has 20 minutes to wrangle the twins and five bags inside, unpack everything, wash bottles, feed the dogs, change diapers, start laundry, and get bottles ready before the clock runs out,” I think to myself as I juggle two babies and a mountain of bags.
First challenge? Getting the front door open with my hands full. No problem—I’ve only wasted four minutes; I still have 16 left! Once inside, I dive into organizing: toys in tiny hands, dirty clothes in a pile, and bottles that need washing. I’m using those bottles with six parts, of course. But so far, no babies are crying!
With 14 minutes left, I disassemble the bottles and move to the dogs, who are practically stampeding out the door. Who has time for games? A couple of cries prompt me to check on the twins, only to find twin A giving twin B a not-so-gentle tap on the head. And the smell? Oh no, just a diaper situation that needs urgent attention. Great.
With seven minutes to go, I start the laundry and switch the toys to keep the noise down for a bit. Two minutes left! I rush to rinse the bottle parts, praying I can get through all the pieces before the hunger cries start. Like those “Chopped” ingredients, every task is crucial for keeping our chaotic day on track.
But just like on the show, time runs out, and the twins are wailing, while I’m nowhere near done. Spoiler alert: I get chopped every time. I explain to the boys that they’ll have to wait a little longer. Not a fan of the “cry it out” method? Cool. What’s it like to have just one child?
As the cries grow louder, I remind myself that this experience, however chaotic, is part of the journey. I send a quick text to my partner, letting them know they better be home soon to help with bath time—or else! (Just kidding… sort of!)
If my twins aren’t crawling by the time they hit 13 months, it’s probably because I’m holding them back, too busy managing the whirlwind of daily life. Kids are wonderful, really, but trust me, the next person who tells me how #blessed I am will find themselves on the receiving end of my to-do list while I sip on a nice glass of wine.
For more insights on parenting and the unique challenges of raising twins, check out our other posts on home insemination, or visit IVF Babble for excellent resources. And if you’re curious about essential tools for home insemination, Make A Mom offers a comprehensive kit that can help. You can also read more about our experiences at Intracervical Insemination.
Summary:
Life with twins is an exhilarating mix of chaos and love. The daily challenges are akin to competing on a cooking show, where every moment counts and every task is critical. The laughter is doubled, but so is the chaos, and sometimes, a good glass of wine is the only reward that keeps this mom going.