Parenting
Why This Mom Can’t ‘Simply’ Go to Bed
By Clara Mitchell
Updated: November 16, 2023
I’ve been running on empty for what feels like a decade, though I’ve lost track of the exact number of years. Like many parents, I find myself in a constant state of sleep deprivation. It’s astonishing how we manage with such exhaustion, isn’t it?
When our children are newborns, we’re tired because those little ones don’t care one bit about our need for a full eight hours. We are now slaves to their schedules. And yet, we cling to hope—maybe once the baby starts sleeping through the night, I’ll catch up on some sleep and feel rejuvenated, we think, with naive optimism.
My youngest is now 4, and I’m still waiting for that refreshing sleep.
By 6:30 PM, I start yawning like I’m about to hibernate. But there’s far too much to do—preparing dinner, cleaning up, helping with homework, bathing the kids, and establishing a bedtime routine. Turning in early is not an option. I push through the fatigue, doing what needs to be done. By the time the kids are tucked in, the dark circles under my eyes are practically begging for their own ZIP code. Then my husband, with his oh-so-helpful suggestions, says, “Just go to bed,” and promptly disappears under the covers, snoring within minutes.
I can’t help but envy his ability to “just” go to bed, to switch off like a light. Try as I might, I simply can’t.
Every day, I resolve to get some decent rest, but even making my way to the bedroom sets off a series of events that keep me awake. It usually goes something like this:
- I head upstairs, thinking of sleep. Did I lock the front door? Better check.
- Passing the bathroom, I spot a pile of clothes on the floor that I missed during the laundry round-up (why can’t my family just use the hamper?). I gather them up and take them to the laundry room.
- I notice my son’s favorite T-shirt and realize he’ll want to wear it tomorrow. I start a load of laundry, thinking I’ll just toss it in the dryer in the morning.
- Next, I see the dog’s empty water bowl and refill it.
- What’s that smell? Oh no, it’s the trash. I can’t let that greet me in the morning! Off to the garage it goes, along with a fresh bag.
- We’re low on trash bags, so I grab my grocery list. What else did I need? Oh, right…a can of hairspray.
- Wait, didn’t I need to send canned food to school tomorrow for the drive? I rummage through the pantry for SpaghettiOs, clam chowder, and corn, stuffing them into backpacks.
- While I’m at it, I remember I need to sign my son’s homework folder. Might as well do it now so I won’t forget in the morning.
- Back at the front door, I remember to check the lock, which is why I came downstairs in the first place. And now, I’m really going to bed.
- But wait, what about the back door?
- On my way to check it, I trip over one of my kid’s shoes. Now I have to find its partner to avoid a morning scramble. Seriously, how hard is it to put them away?
- In my search, I step on something sticky. Heading to grab paper towels, I realize I need a new roll from the laundry room. While I’m there, I see there are only 10 minutes left in the wash cycle. I’ll just find something to do for 10 minutes and then put the clothes in the dryer. Because I’m definitely going to bed.
- I clean the sticky mess and decide to unload the dishwasher while I wait.
- Since I’m in the kitchen, I might as well pack the kids’ lunches for tomorrow. The washer goes off while I’m making sandwiches, but I finish anyway.
- I head to the dryer only to find it’s already full of wrinkling clothes…great. I spot my husband’s work shirt, which he’ll probably need.
- After folding the laundry, I decide to lay out the kids’ clothes for school.
- Finally, I’m actually going to bed—for real this time.
- But first, I need to brush my teeth, wash my face, and apply that wrinkle cream that promises to make me look fresh in the morning. The irony is not lost on me.
Even though I’m exhausted, I often find myself wide awake once my head hits the pillow. I tell myself, “Just a quick email check,” which spirals into a rabbit hole of Pinterest and Facebook, where I lose track of time taking quizzes like “Which Game of Thrones Character Are You?”
Meanwhile, my husband snores beside me, making it even harder to drift off. Oh, and didn’t we just get a notice about our cable payment being late? Maybe I should check on that…
For more insights into parenting and home insemination, check out this blog post, or learn more about the cryobaby at-home insemination kit, a trusted resource for many. Additionally, RESOLVE offers excellent guidance on family-building options.
In summary, the struggle of wanting to go to bed but constantly being sidetracked by various responsibilities is a common experience for many parents. The never-ending cycle of tasks often leaves little time for rest, making the idea of simply going to bed seem utterly unattainable.