I’ve observed a curious trend among mothers—many tend to downplay their achievements and abilities. For instance, a mom might say, “Oh, the cupcakes didn’t turn out that great,” after spending hours baking and decorating them for a school event. Or another might remark, “I’m really not good at this,” despite juggling work, helping with homework, navigating tween drama, and nurturing their relationship. And let’s not forget the woman who brought life into this world, saying, “It’s not like millions of women haven’t done the same.”
When faced with kind words or acknowledgment, many of us instinctively diminish our accomplishments or even criticize ourselves. Here are a few insights into why this happens and why we should stop.
We Often Think We Don’t Deserve Recognition
Some individuals feel uncomfortable accepting praise, perhaps stemming from a background where shame was prevalent. However, if you believe you don’t merit appreciation, then neither does anyone else. You are just as deserving as the next person. While it may take practice to resist the urge to belittle yourself, it’s essential to simply accept compliments. You don’t have to be boastful, but let compliments land without diminishing their value.
Misconception of Humility
Another reason we might self-deprecate is the misconception that it equates to humility. While humility is admirable, self-criticism and humility are not synonymous. Criticizing ourselves isn’t virtuous; it’s not necessary to undermine ourselves to appear modest. One of the most gracious individuals I’ve met, Lisa, would simply say, “Thank you. You’re so kind,” in response to compliments. This straightforward acknowledgment uplifted both her and those around her. True humility inspires others, while self-deprecation often makes people feel they need to uplift us.
Fear of Rejection
We also fear rejection. Embracing confidence can feel risky, as it opens us up to potential criticism. Sometimes, we self-deprecate as a defense mechanism, thinking that if we criticize ourselves first, we won’t be hurt by others’ judgments. Unfortunately, this self-criticism only inflicts harm on us. Most individuals I know wouldn’t dream of downplaying a friend’s achievements, yet they do so to themselves. It’s crucial to treat ourselves with the same kindness we extend to others.
The Importance of Self-Respect
As mothers, it’s vital to stop self-deprecating. When we portray motherhood as either trivial or easy, we do our children a disservice. Motherhood is challenging and incredibly important, and our kids should recognize that. Society already undervalues motherhood, and if we belittle our own experiences, how can we advocate for improved maternal care, better family leave policies, and increased support for both working and stay-at-home moms?
Moreover, what message are we sending our children? They learn more from our actions than our words. By not respecting our own roles, we risk teaching them to undervalue themselves as well. We want to instill a sense of strength and capability in them—something that starts with how we regard our own strength.
Celebrate Your Greatness!
So, let’s celebrate our greatness, mamas! Acknowledge your contributions to raising wonderful kids. When someone compliments you on your motherhood, your career, or your unique style, simply respond with, “Thank you. You are so kind.” Accept your brilliance, and the world will start to follow suit. For more insights on similar topics, check out this post on home insemination, where you can find valuable information and resources.
In Summary
It’s time for moms to own their awesomeness and reject the urge to self-deprecate. Our hard work and dedication deserve recognition, and by embracing our contributions, we set a powerful example for our children.