Teaching Kids About Natural Consequences: A Parent’s Journey

self insemination kit

About a year ago, my son, Jake, burst into the house clad in rollerblades, having just spent the afternoon outside, joyfully spraying himself with the hose while wearing his school uniform. He was a short, sturdy kid, gleefully soaking himself and shouting with delight. As he squished his way across the kitchen floor, he announced his urgent need to use the bathroom.

I was on the sofa, folding laundry when I heard the splashing sounds. “Jake,” I called out, “please take off those rollerblades and dry off before you come in.” My main concern was preserving our floor, but more importantly, I knew that navigating the bathroom in rollerblades was going to be a challenge for him—heck, I’d find it tough myself!

But Jake, being eight years old, was in his own world, confidently striding past me towards the restroom. His body language screamed, “I’ve got this!” As he moved further down the hallway, I called out again, “Buddy! Do you really think you can handle that in rollerblades? You might get hurt!”

“I really have to go, Dad,” he replied dismissively. I knew he wasn’t in that much of a hurry; he was just being a bit lazy. I could’ve easily intervened, taking off his rollerblades and wrapping him in a towel, but I chose not to. I wanted him to learn from his actions.

As a parent for over a decade and now with three kids, I’ve often found myself stepping in at the last minute to prevent a fall while jumping on the bed or forcing them to complete a project to avoid facing consequences at school. However, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve been learning to let go and allow my children to experience the natural outcomes of their choices.

Yet, it’s a struggle. Sometimes it feels like I’m watching them head straight for a disaster. They might ignore my warnings, get hurt, and then repeat the same behavior. Or, even worse, they might not get hurt right away, leading me to question if they’ll ever learn. I sometimes wish their friends would call them out on their behavior when they act thoughtlessly, but that doesn’t always happen, leaving me feeling frustrated.

As I sat waiting for Jake to come out of the bathroom, I was filled with a mix of hope and doubt. Would he gain wisdom from this experience? This uncertainty is part of the challenge of allowing natural consequences to unfold.

Reflecting on my own childhood, I remembered how my mom would scold me for strutting around in my underwear or for eating junk food. I was just as reckless as Jake, and my mom used a blend of advice, intervention, and allowing me to learn from my mistakes. That’s why this moment with Jake was so significant for me.

I had warned him, explained my reasoning, and then stepped back to let him figure it out on his own. Moments later, I heard a loud thud from the bathroom. I wasn’t sure what had happened, but Jake was in there for quite some time.

When he finally emerged, he was still wet from his outdoor antics, so it was hard to tell if he had had an accident. His eyes were a bit teary and his chin quivered, but he held his rollerblades in his hands. The dad in me wanted to give him a long lecture, but I didn’t. It seemed he had already absorbed the lesson.

“Are you okay?” I asked. He didn’t offer an explanation, just nodded silently. “So, are you going to take off your rollerblades next time?” He nodded again and walked back outside.

This experience taught me that sometimes, the best lessons come from letting our kids face the consequences of their actions. For more insights into parenting and family decisions, visit our blog.

Summary

Teaching children about natural consequences can be challenging for parents. It’s essential to balance guidance with allowing kids to learn from their own mistakes. Through personal experiences, the importance of letting kids face the outcomes of their actions becomes clear, reinforcing valuable life lessons.