Overall, my three kids generally get along splendidly. They share laughter, play games together, and clearly cherish one another. Yet, as with all siblings, a bit of bickering is par for the course—just like Cain and Abel.
I recall my own childhood squabbles with my brother, even though we were typically close. I can still hear us arguing over perceived unfairness and yelling, “Mom! Timmy is touching me!” from the backseat. My mother’s exasperation was evident, and now I truly understand why.
My kids have engaged in countless arguments over the silliest topics, but here are their absolute favorites:
Who Received More?
Whether it’s a drop of juice, a spoonful of ice cream, or even a single cookie crumb, my children seem to possess a remarkable talent for determining portion sizes just by looking. Whoever feels wronged, no matter how minuscule the difference, always cries out, “Why did she get more than meeee?” My go-to response? “Well, kid, it’s because I like her more. Duh.” Louis C.K. put it perfectly: “The only time you look in your neighbor’s bowl is to make sure they have enough.” Boom! That’s a solid lesson for them.
Whose Turn Is It?
“It’s my turn to press the doorbell!” “It’s my turn to hit the elevator button!” “It’s her turn to sit next to Mom!” The list goes on. I’ve spent countless hours devising ways to avoid taking turns. Keeping track of who pressed the elevator button last feels like a task for a project manager! My favorite response? “It’s Mommy’s turn!” and then I just do it myself—except for the litter box; that’s all on them.
Funny Looks
Who knew that a simple glance could ignite such chaos? “She glared at me!” “Stop looking at me like that!” “He always gives me that look!” Sometimes, I just wish they would look away. When that fails, I unleash my ridiculous cross-eyed stare. It might scare them a bit, but hey, it’s worth it!
Laughter Wars
As much as they love to laugh together, the fun goes downhill fast if one child laughs while the other is grumpy. It’s almost as if they can’t tolerate their sibling’s joy, leading to accusations of “You were laughing at me!” While it may be true sometimes, convincing them otherwise is a lost cause.
Imaginary Catastrophes
One day, my daughter stormed into the room, sobbing. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “He killed my waaahhhhh!” “Killed your what?” “My imaginary draaagonnn!” Ah, the tragedy of made-up worlds. Many imaginary beings have fallen victim to sibling rivalry over the years. I simply hold them close until they can invent another imaginary friend.
A Tug-of-War for Mom
My kids often battle for my attention, the ultimate prize. If one snuggles up to me, the other must join, too. They rarely bicker overtly about this—perhaps they know that wouldn’t end well for them. But there’s definitely a secret competition for who can get closest to me.
It’s just sibling life. I can only hope that when they grow up, they won’t argue over who got to press the elevator button last or who looked at whom. Fingers crossed!
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In summary, my kids’ arguments may seem trivial, but they are part of growing up and learning to navigate relationships. As they bicker over the little things now, I hope they will one day reflect on these moments with fondness.