Finding Common Ground with Our Teenage Daughters

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Menu: Parenting

By: Emily Johnson

Date: November 27, 2023

For the first several years of her life, my daughter and I were inseparable, like two peas in a pod. She reveled in our time together, always seeking a goodnight hug and kiss, rushing to my room each morning to start the day together. But then came the pre-teen phase, and suddenly, we were at odds over everything from curfews to the appropriateness of certain movies—and when she could finally join Instagram. I often felt a wide chasm between us, as if we were standing on opposite sides of a fence.

Now that I’m navigating the teenage years with my daughter, I find that we actually share more similarities than I ever imagined. Here are several ways in which my teenage girl and I can relate:

1. Understanding Hormones
   The ups and downs of PMS are something we both experience. The bloating, mood swings, and irritability are real, and we’ve learned to bond over these shared challenges. We often indulge in brownies and recognize when it’s best to give each other space.
2. The Truth About Sweat
   What once was just a minor inconvenience has turned into a battle with hormones that can make us smell quite… interesting. I remember coming home from exercise to hear, “Mom, you stink!” Now, she’s just as likely to declare herself the odorous one after a long day.
3. Leggings Are Life
   My daughter used to tease me for my everyday black leggings, but now she has her own collection, proving that comfort can indeed be stylish.
4. Embracing Strong Language
   While I used to be cautious about swearing around her, I’ve loosened up a bit. She knows that sometimes a well-placed curse word can perfectly capture a frustrating moment—like forgetting your wallet at the store (my blunder) or being embarrassed when a crush catches you off guard (her experience).
5. The Importance of Friendships
   My daughter used to grumble about my social outings, but now she’s venturing out with her friends and often seeks my advice about her own relationships. It’s heartening to support her as she builds the same meaningful connections that I cherish.
6. Bathroom Privacy
   The bathroom door has become a sacred space for us both. I used to wonder why I needed so much time alone in there, but now she understands that it’s a place for reflection and a much-needed breather.
7. Sex Education
   While my daughter may not have firsthand experience, she is certainly aware of the basics. Our honest discussions about intimate relationships have become more frequent, and although it can be a bit awkward, it’s important for us to communicate openly.
8. The Reality of Heels
   When she was little, my daughter was obsessed with high heels, but now that she owns a pair, she quickly learns the discomfort that comes with them, just as I have.
9. Conscious Eating Habits
   As women, we often feel the pressure to monitor our diets, and I’ve noticed my daughter starting to pay attention to her eating patterns. We’ve begun to have deeper conversations about food, body image, and societal expectations.
10. Mom Was a Teen Too
    There comes a moment when teenage girls realize that their mothers were once in their shoes. Instead of dismissing my experiences, she’s now curious about my teenage years, providing us with a chance to connect on a deeper level.

While raising a teenage daughter can be challenging, recognizing our shared experiences makes it much easier and more fulfilling.

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Summary:

This article highlights the unexpected similarities between mothers and their teenage daughters, exploring topics such as hormonal changes, shared fashion trends, the importance of friendships, and open communication about relationships and body image. Through these shared experiences, mothers can strengthen their connections with their daughters during these formative years.