Romantic relationships can be compared to the clothing in your wardrobe. Stick with me; it will all make sense in the end.
When you’re dating, your relationship resembles that thrilling pair of leather pants: appealing, hot, and just a tad sticky. As time goes on, it shifts into a pair of skinny jeans: comfortable most days, but you can’t help but wonder if they’ll still fit after a cycle through the dryer.
Then, there’s marriage — oh, marriage! Before kids, it’s like that stylish T-shirt made from ethically sourced cotton, adorned with a logo of your favorite indie band, fitting you perfectly. It not only looks good but feels amazing too.
However, things change once kids come into the picture. Gone is that trendy T-shirt; now you’re in your favorite flannel pajama pants. They may be stained, worn, and a bit odoriferous from not being washed as often as they should, but they have an elastic waistband and a whimsical pattern of dancing reindeer. They might not win any fashion awards, but they are the most cherished item in your closet. They are your go-to for comfort, your relax-in-pants that make everything better.
In this new phase of marriage, you find yourself spending weeks planning a date night, only to end up with takeout and reruns of Parks and Recreation because the babysitter canceled or one of the kids caught a cold. You leave sweet notes on the nightstand saying things like, “I took the kids for donuts so you could sleep in.”
Marriage with kids means scheduling intimacy and sneaking in quick moments of affection, hoping a little one doesn’t walk in unexpectedly. It involves reminding your partner that it’s time for a back shave or pointing out that pesky chin hair that just curled up. You share laughter holding hands at your daughter’s basketball game or trying to stifle giggles during your son’s holiday concert.
Discussions now revolve around 529 plans, holiday plans, and how to tackle new math. Conversations sometimes require spelling out words, and you find yourself offering endless forgiveness because you’re simply too exhausted to argue. You know you’re on the same team, even when you’re muttering under your breath during those debates about finances.
Marriage with kids is punctuated with interruptions—“Daddy, guess what?!” or “Mommy, look at me!”—that leave you forgetting your train of thought. It’s about trading sleep for a moment of peace, sending countless emails to plan your son’s birthday party, and texting about the essentials like chocolate, wine, and toilet paper.
It’s falling asleep on the couch while watching Saturday Night Live, only to wake up cozied under your favorite fleece blanket. It’s filled with inside jokes about the quirky things kids say and the absurdities of parenting. You vow not to discuss the kids on date night, but after the first sip of wine, all bets are off.
You reminisce about the carefree days while planning for the future amidst the chaos of wiping toddler bottoms and scrubbing crayon off the walls. This marriage is a bit messier, softer, and more worn around the edges—much like those beloved pajama pants—because parenting is challenging, and those reindeer designs make everything feel a little brighter.
If you’re interested in exploring more about home insemination, check out our post on intracervical insemination. For those considering this journey, Make a Mom has an excellent selection of resources. You can also visit Resolve for detailed information on pregnancy and home insemination options.
In summary, marriage after kids is a beautiful jumble of love, laughter, and chaos. It’s about finding joy in the messiness of life and cherishing those comfortable moments together.