A few weeks ago, I arrived at my son’s school to pick him up, and the moment he spotted me, he quickly got up from his spot with friends. It was clear he wished to keep our connection a secret. As he approached, he leaned in and whispered, “Mom, why do you have to dress like that? Everyone’s staring at you.”
In response, I playfully said, “No one’s looking at me; they’re probably just admiring how handsome you are.” He shot back, “I blend in. They’re looking at you. Why do you have to wear dresses and high heels?” Just for context, I was wearing a pretty standard outfit, nothing out of the ordinary, but it clearly made him uncomfortable.
That day, I decided to turn the tables and asked him if he wanted to dress me for a while. I promised I’d wear whatever he chose, provided he kept an open mind. My goal was not just to humor him but to dive deeper into why he felt the way he did about my fashion choices. By allowing him to select my outfits, I hoped he would grasp my perspective, and, in turn, I could understand his viewpoint better.
The Experiment Begins
On our first day of this experiment, he selected a casual, sporty outfit, which I genuinely loved. While I often enjoy dressing this way, I also appreciate more formal looks at times. When I asked him why he went for this particular outfit, he said it made me “blend in and not stand out.” To him, dressing up meant I was out of place. If only he knew how many women I saw sporting suits and heels throughout the day!
I took the opportunity to tell him that no one should be judged by their clothing, not even your “embarrassing” mother. I emphasized that people typically wear what makes them feel comfortable and confident, regardless of the source. I also pointed out that focusing solely on appearances could cause him to miss out on meaningful connections.
Building Confidence and Respect
While I understand he feels more comfortable in clothing that helps him blend in, I want him to build the confidence to step outside the box if he so desires. It’s important to me that he recognizes that someone’s outfit is never an invitation for judgment or unwanted attention. I stressed the importance of respectful observation, especially towards women, regardless of what they wear.
Moreover, I want him to understand that becoming a mother doesn’t mean I have to conform to a certain style. I enjoyed the outfits he chose but also love my dresses and trendy pieces. I’m not looking to embarrass him; I just want to express myself. Hearing him say he doesn’t want to go out with me because of my outfit choices stings, even if it’s a typical teenage feeling.
A Humorous Take on Parenting
Recently, I shared these insights with a friend who humorously remarked that he would “bake these lessons into a gentleman pie.” I sincerely hope she’s onto something!
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Conclusion
In summary, engaging in this unique experience of allowing my son to dress me opened up a valuable dialogue about self-expression, respect, and the significance of being true to oneself, regardless of others’ opinions.