Dear Young Shopper,
I see you glancing at my groceries as I chat with the mom in front of me. You can hear our conversation about our kids, tuition for Pre-K, soccer practices, and our culinary adventures. You’ve noticed I mentioned “my son’s father,” and you’ve caught sight of the lack of a ring on my finger. You see my smartphone and my carefully applied makeup, and I can only imagine your thoughts as I pull out that card from my wallet—the one emblazoned with the word “ASSISTANCE” in bold letters.
I understand your confusion. I was once in your shoes, likely questioning how a single mother like me could be receiving Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) benefits. How could I possibly afford a smartphone while needing aid? How could I appear so put together and still require support? How could I hold a master’s degree and still be in this position? How could I send my child to a Catholic school and participate in activities, all while needing SNAP?
You shift your weight, unsure of how to respond. I can sense your discomfort, so you turn to a manager, handing over the card with a hint of trepidation, as if it were something unsightly, whispering, “She has SNAP,” as if it were a taboo term.
But let me share my story. Yes, I am a single mother. While it wasn’t my plan, my divorce from my ex-husband was a choice made to enhance our lives. I take pride in my appearance because I believe in presenting my best self; I review beauty products, shop smartly, and sometimes wear hand-me-downs. Looking good is my way of honoring life itself.
My master’s degree is a testament to my hard work, but it’s important to remember that education alone doesn’t guarantee a high-paying job. My smartphone is a tool for my career, letting me manage emails and video calls for my full-time job, which often consumes my evenings. While my income may not reflect my worth, I’m an integral part of a growing company that could eventually lead me to start my own venture. Plus, that smartphone provides me with access to continuing education, allowing me to enhance my skills anytime, anywhere.
My son attends a Catholic school because I make sacrifices. I forgo gym memberships, salon visits, and other luxuries to ensure he receives quality education. He engages in extracurricular activities because I barter my marketing skills with local business owners, allowing him to thrive in a positive environment while I build my professional credentials.
As for the food, I create nutritious meals because I meal plan, explore new recipes, freeze leftovers, and learn to maximize our resources, keeping us healthy and satisfied.
And why do I hold my head high? Because I know my worth. I know my son looks up to me with pride. I acknowledge that this situation won’t last forever. I am grateful for the assistance available in this country, and I approach the system with integrity. Having SNAP is not something to be ashamed of; I am a smart woman with a bright future ahead. My marriage may not have worked out, but it doesn’t define my worth or my future.
To the mom behind me, thank you for your patience and understanding as I checked out. Your kindness deserves recognition.
So, to the teenager scanning my groceries, I assure you that I don’t need your pity or judgment. I hope you take the time to educate yourself about the realities of life and respect those who, like me, are working hard to make ends meet. If circumstances were different, we would choose another path. But I am determined to rise above, and soon, I will be there.
Sincerely,
A Committed Single Mom