As a parent, I often find myself hiding certain habits from my kids under the guise of being a good role model. I’ll preach the importance of a nutritious breakfast while sneaking a few cookies after they hop on the bus. I’ll remind them to share their toys, yet I’ll indulge in snacks secretly to avoid sharing mine. And I’ll go on about the necessity of a good night’s rest while binge-watching TV long past my bedtime.
It’s clear that my actions don’t always reflect the lessons I aim to teach. However, there’s one aspect I consciously choose to highlight: demonstrating my love for my partner, David. I want my children to see what a healthy relationship looks like because, at some point in their lives, they will likely find themselves in relationships too. While I teach them essential skills like good hygiene and manners, I also want to instill in them the importance of loving and valuing their partners. After all, their happiness will be greatly influenced by the quality of their relationships.
Everyone knows that relationships can significantly affect your daily mood. An unhappy partnership can spill over into every aspect of life, from self-esteem to work performance. If I can model a healthy relationship now, before they enter the dating world, I can better equip them for success later on. It’s like stacking the odds in their favor.
The key isn’t just the grand gestures—though it’s nice for the kids to see David surprise me with flowers or a sweet note. What I really want them to notice are the little, everyday acts of kindness. For instance, David leaves for work early and often skips breakfast to avoid waking anyone. So, most nights, I whip up a fruit smoothie and tuck it away in the freezer for him. The kids witness this and I explain my motivation: I want to ensure he has a healthy breakfast on the go.
When David sends me a sweet text during the day, I share it with the kids, expressing how much it brightens my day. “How thoughtful of Dad to bring home dinner when he knows I’ve had a busy week,” I might say when he surprises us with takeout. Sometimes, I even involve the kids in showing gratitude: “What can we do to help Dad out today?”
Just as arguing in front of our children can leave an impact, so too can showing love. It might seem subtle, but it teaches them that maintaining a partnership requires continuous effort. Love isn’t just a one-time event; it’s something that needs nurturing. They’ll learn that considering a partner’s needs isn’t just essential in marriage but also incredibly rewarding.
While they might not grasp the full significance of these moments now—or may even roll their eyes at my affectionate displays—they will undoubtedly carry these experiences into their future relationships. They’ll understand that our bond, the very foundation of our family, is strong and worth nurturing whenever possible.
I’m not claiming that David and I are perfect; we have our share of selfish moments and disagreements, just like any couple. However, we always aim to return to a place of care and understanding. Ultimately, the greatest gift we can offer our children is the assurance that their parents love each other, as well as the skills they’ll need to cultivate love in their own lives.
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Summary:
Modeling a healthy relationship is one of the best gifts we can give our children. By demonstrating love and kindness in our everyday interactions, we prepare them for future partnerships. It’s crucial that they see not only the big gestures but also the daily acts that strengthen our bond. While no couple is perfect, striving to show care and compassion lays the groundwork for our kids to cultivate their own loving relationships.