My partner insists I’m hooked on caffeine. When I show her the nutritional label on my can of Coke Zero, I can’t help but point out, “Look at all those zeros! It’s practically water—maybe even better! Science has made it great!”
She just rolls her eyes. Sarah only drinks water, and living with her feels like cohabiting with a monk. I honestly can’t comprehend how she or any parent can function without caffeine.
Whether it’s coffee, energy drinks, or soda, many parents need a little boost to keep up with the relentless demands of parenthood. After years of sleepless nights and the chaos of raising children, caffeine becomes a necessity for survival.
My go-to drink is Coke Zero. It has a flavor profile much closer to regular Coke than Diet Coke, and it feels fresher—definitely less like something my mom would drink.
Last year, I made a trip to Costco to stock up on Coke Zero, but to my dismay, it was nowhere to be found. Panic set in as I questioned several employees about its absence, only to discover that they had relocated it for a special sale. While this might sound trivial, any caffeine-loving parent knows the mild freakout that ensues when your favorite drink is suddenly elusive.
I’m not proud of that reaction. But let’s face it: I have three kids, all of whom have been less than stellar sleepers. One kid won’t go to bed, another wakes up throughout the night, and the third is an early riser. These roles shift nightly, but one thing remains constant: sleep is a rare commodity. After a decade of unpredictable sleep, I’ve come to heavily rely on caffeine to get through the day.
Maybe I’m just using my children as an excuse. Maybe I should be like Sarah and stick to water. But that’s not happening.
I enjoyed caffeine long before kids came into the picture, and back then, I actually got a decent amount of sleep. My worries revolved around rent and car payments—not the soul-crushing anxiety of potentially losing my job and jeopardizing my family’s stability.
Caffeine doesn’t solve any of those issues, but it does make tackling them a bit more manageable. At the very least, it keeps my eyes open enough to pretend I’m an alert and functioning adult.
This is the reality of being a caffeine-dependent parent: waking up grumpy until you get your fix, trudging through the day with a toddler in one hand and your favorite drink in the other, hearing the kids ask, “Another one? Really?” multiple times a day, and facing judgment from others. It means sticking to your guns during that late afternoon run to the store and justifying the expense to your partner as an investment in your sanity. It even means your kids teasing you about your caffeine intake, as if they’re not the ones who caused the sleepless nights in the first place.
And you know what’s ironic? My mom was a Diet Coke enthusiast, and I used to poke fun at her for it. Back then, I didn’t understand the reason behind her caffeine consumption. Now, as a father, I completely get it. I owe her a thank you—or maybe a couple of cases of soda.
Parenting is tough, and relying on a simple soda isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things. So if you know a parent who leans on caffeine to get through the day, think twice before making snarky remarks. They’re just trying to survive, and a simple offer to buy them a drink could make their day.
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In summary, caffeine can be a lifeline for parents navigating the challenges of sleepless nights and busy days. While it may not solve all problems, it certainly helps in the quest for sanity and functionality.