I adore the enchantment of the holiday season. It transforms people, encouraging acts of kindness and generosity. Charities often see a surge in donations during December, and kids joyfully sing festive carols at school. While the season has become quite commercialized, it still serves as a beautiful opportunity for families to come together, bringing excitement and anticipation for a day filled with joy.
So, why would I break the news to my sweet, bright-eyed daughter that Santa isn’t real?
First, let me clarify that I don’t believe this approach is suitable for every child. My daughter, who has autism, required a different perspective on the Santa story for several reasons:
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Literal Interpretation Caused Distress
With her tendency to think literally, the notion of Santa became a source of anxiety. Books, television shows, and her peers spoke of Santa sliding down chimneys, but we don’t have one. She couldn’t grasp the idea of magic keys or Santa flying through windows. The conflicting images of Santa at the mall, her school party, and the North Pole left her confused. Why did some Santas wear glasses while others did not? Why were some tall and thin while others were short and round? For her, the imaginative story turned into a source of anxiety rather than delight. -
Anxiety Interfered with Sleep
The thought of a stranger entering her home while she slept was terrifying. Instead of finding comfort in the idea of gifts being left for her, her mind raced with worries about how Santa could carry all the presents, whether his reindeer might tire, or if she would be overlooked. The mention of Santa triggered sleepless nights and made her jump at the sound of the doorbell. -
Social Expectations Were Overwhelming
While she never had to visit a Santa’s grotto, she found the social interactions surrounding Santa overwhelming. After years of teaching her basic social rules like not talking to strangers, it was confusing to see her peers suddenly comfortable with a man dressed in red. Her autism made it difficult for her to process this inconsistency, making Santa synonymous with chaos and rule-breaking. -
Her Love for Her Brother Was Paramount
The turning point for me was the moment I found myself sitting beside my daughter as she cried and begged me to confirm that Santa wasn’t real. She has a brother with complex needs who sometimes displays challenging behaviors. After hearing someone say her brother would be on Santa’s “naughty” list, she was filled with rage against Santa. Her fierce love for her brother took precedence over any belief in Santa.
Ultimately, revealing the truth about Santa turned out to be the most magical decision for my daughter. Understanding that Santa is a fictional character has brought her clarity. She no longer worries about how Santa could be in multiple places at once, and she feels safe knowing that no stranger will invade her home at night. Most importantly, she now knows that her brother will receive gifts this Christmas, no matter the challenges he might face.
In hindsight, I wish I had shared this truth with her sooner. Knowing that Santa is a made-up character, she feels happier and more excited about Christmas than ever. She understands who buys the presents and how we acquire them.
For some children with autism, the real magic of Christmas may lie in the revelation that Santa isn’t real at all.
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Summary:
In this article, Jessica discusses her decision to tell her daughter with autism that Santa isn’t real. She explains how the belief caused her daughter distress due to her literal thinking and anxiety about strangers. The social implications of Santa also overwhelmed her daughter. Ultimately, revealing the truth enabled her daughter to embrace the holiday spirit without fear, leading to a happier Christmas experience.