“Did you know that ‘duck’ sounds a lot like the F-word?”
That’s a statement I wasn’t quite ready for during our family dinner at a bustling New Orleans restaurant, especially when delivered at full volume by my 6-year-old, Charlie. Several patrons glanced over, some with raised eyebrows while others exchanged knowing smirks. One particularly poised woman shot us a disapproving look.
“That’s true, but let’s remember it’s not a conversation for right now. And can you please use your inside voice?” My partner and I returned to our gumbo, while Charlie busily colored a bright blue duck on her menu as the disapproving woman continued to glare.
Despite the judgment from others, we weren’t fazed by Charlie’s expanding vocabulary. Here’s our perspective:
Understanding Language is Essential
While Charlie can certainly whip up a fantastic drawing, her primary means of communication is verbal. She’s never asked for a snack through interpretive dance, after all! To express herself effectively, she needs to understand a wide range of words. It’s important for her to differentiate between “nervous” and “excited,” or “upset” and “frustrated.” At 6, she’s on a journey to collect these words, and we want her to feel comfortable exploring them, even the ones that some might consider off-limits.
Teaching Responsible Word Usage
When Charlie drops the “F-bomb,” it provides us an opportunity to discuss appropriateness based on context and her age. If she continues to press the issue, we can implement reasonable consequences because understanding inappropriate language is a vital life skill.
Let’s consider the perspective of that disapproving woman—if Charlie were to use that word as a teenager when I’m not around, it could escalate into a whole different situation. It’s much better for her to navigate the complexities of language now than to find herself caught in a verbal conflict later.
Words Hold Power
Words can be incredibly powerful, capable of healing, inspiring, or causing harm. Charlie is the beautiful product of a multicultural background, adopted by two parents who don’t look anything like her. She’s competitive, outspoken, and sometimes even a bit combative. There will be plenty of opportunities for her to face the harsh realities of language as she grows up.
Instead of adding unnecessary weight to the F-word, I choose not to react with shock or disdain. This allows Charlie to understand the true implications of words without fear. While she may know what the word is, she doesn’t yet grasp its full meaning. I won’t fight fire with fire—there are more pressing matters to consider, such as, “Is this the best parenting choice for us right now?” So far, the answer has been a confident “yes!”
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In summary, allowing children to explore language—even the “bad” words—can foster a safe environment for communication and understanding. By guiding them through their vocabulary journey, we empower them to use language responsibly and effectively.