Updated: April 7, 2021
Originally Published: December 2, 2016
Dear Santa,
This year, I’ve embraced my inner earth mama. I’ve dabbled in essential oils, recycled like a pro, and even crafted some homemade bone broth. So, I think I’ve earned a little reward in the form of some delightful goodies I’ve been dreaming about. I know it can be tricky to shop for someone who smells like patchouli, so I’ve prepared a list of items I’m wishing for this Christmas/Solstice.
Chickens and a Chicken Coop
Santa, if you bring me nothing else, please deliver this! Yes, I know the chickens might face the risk of foxes, and each egg will end up costing me more in feed and care than those no-cage organic eggs from Whole Foods. But these hens will be my companions. They’ll snuggle on my lap and provide eggs for my family—who, by the way, don’t even like scrambled, hard-boiled, or any kind of eggs! And yes, these eggs will come adorned with a little chicken poop as a sign of true affection.
Canning Essentials: Books, Pots, Jars, and More
Santa, I want every canning supply imaginable because I’m ready to dive into the world of preserving. I plan to pickle, candy, and transform fresh veggies into masterpieces free of BPA and aluminum. Just wait for peach season; I’ll be canning so many that I might have to donate them to a food bank! Okay, who am I kidding? They will probably just take up space in my kitchen, becoming a reminder of my ambitious but ultimately unused plans. But hey, it’ll boost my crunchy credibility!
Waldorf Toys Galore
I’m on the hunt for that whimsical fabric elf, the stunning wooden rainbow, and a treehouse complete with organic dolls and tiny furniture. And let’s not forget the extravagant Bamboletta doll with rainbow hair! I want all the wooden wonders! Of course, this is all for my child… or so I tell myself.
A Year’s Supply of Nag Champa
In case you’re unaware, Nag Champa is a fragrant incense that every self-respecting hippie burns during less-than-pleasant moments—like diaper changes or cooking greens. It gives the house that nostalgic college dorm aroma, perhaps with a hint of something else wafting through the air. But let’s keep that between us, Santa.
A Handwoven Wrap
I’ve outgrown the Moby and now desire something exquisite—handwoven with mythical unicorn fur and elf hair in a delightful twill weave, with a size 6 perfect for all my favorite carries. I’d explain more, but I fear your eyes might glaze over at the thought of all the intricate ways to wrap a baby.
Breastmilk Jewelry
Imagine transforming my breastmilk into a beautiful piece of jewelry! Yes, I would have to mail my milk to a magical place where they can crystallize it into a locket or ring. It’s like a modern-day relic that preserves a piece of motherhood forever.
All the Menstrual Products
Forget traditional pads and tampons! I’m ready to embrace the unconventional. I want a Diva Cup—complete with its silicon glory—sea sponges, and even reusable cloth tampons that might raise eyebrows but not mine. And for those heavier days, I’m dreaming of handmade organic pads with mysterious layers, including something called Zorb. I want to experience my period like the eco-friendly, Whole Foods-loving mama I aspire to be.
That One Must-Have Diaper
You know the one—the limited edition diaper that everyone’s after! It’ll complete my collection and look adorable on my little one. Fingers crossed that it doesn’t get stained, which would ruin its market value!
Thanks for taking the time to read my list, Santa. I’ll be sure to leave you gluten-free carob-walnut cookies on Christmas Eve.
With love,
A Not-Quite-Hippie-Enough Mom
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Summary
In this light-hearted holiday wish list, Julia Thompson shares her desires as a self-proclaimed “crunchy mama.” From chickens and canning supplies to Waldorf toys and eco-friendly menstrual products, she captures the essence of her parenting philosophy. With playful humor, she highlights her aspirations for a more sustainable lifestyle while maintaining a whimsical tone.