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Reinvigorating Your Marriage Requires Commitment
“Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day.” – Barbara de Angelis
Recently, my partner and I enjoyed a delightful weekend away from the kids. We attended a concert, savored delicious meals, wandered through the city sharing stories, and stayed at a chic hotel. It was blissful. Yet just three days later, I found myself staring at my partner with alarm and exclaiming, “I feel like we’re drifting apart!” He nodded and said, “I sensed the rut too.”
One of the pitfalls of running a business and spending copious amounts of time with your partner is the risk of slipping into a routine. The process can be gradual—much like the tide slowly receding from the shore. When we’re around each other constantly, we may forget to prioritize quality moments for our relationship. While it might seem unnecessary to schedule time together since we see each other every day, we often find ourselves engrossed in chores or managing the logistics of our business rather than connecting on a deeper level.
When I sense we’re slipping into one of those ruts, I make sure to raise the alarm. I openly discuss my feelings when I notice we’re growing distant. My partner might think I’m overreacting, but I refuse to stand by and watch our bond weaken! Who wants to live in a household where two individuals coexist without truly seeing or hearing one another?
The frightening part is that we can lead incredibly productive lives—juggling work, cooking nutritious meals, staying active, raising our children, and advancing our careers—while still feeling emotionally disconnected. This is why I take action at the first signs of distance.
Setting boundaries with work and technology is vital. We can have a productive planning session for our business, but after we tuck the kids in, we should share a dinner and enjoy a movie without any work discussions or phones in sight. Sometimes, we need personal space within our home. We established that our bedroom is a “no kid zone” where privacy is respected.
Moreover, laughter and playfulness are essential. Not too long ago, we decided we needed to reconnect, so we jumped on a trampoline together for half an hour. We laughed until our sides hurt. Simple activities like a quiet meal, a tech-free coffee chat, a peaceful evening stroll, or even a workout can be effective ways to combat stagnation in our relationship.
Just as I strive to redirect my focus in various aspects of life, I also need to channel my energy and emotions during dedicated time with my partner. Establishing boundaries has become increasingly critical. Both of us must be recognized as individuals with unique interests and perspectives—not merely business associates. After all, we are human beings, not just human doings.
Maintaining a healthy marriage is a delicate balance that demands intentional effort. I don’t believe that fulfilling marriages happen by mere chance. They require ongoing work, adjustments, and genuine attention. We must avoid going on autopilot and seize every opportunity to be present together.
After I expressed my concerns about our relationship, my partner and I took the kids to the pool and spent two hours talking about what was happening between us. We explored potential causes and devised plans for improvement. To my surprise, I learned about some of my behaviors that I hadn’t realized were affecting us. Those moments of honest communication are perhaps what I cherish most about our marriage. After 15 years together, we recognize that even the strongest relationships can experience distance. If we successfully run our business and raise happy children but neglect our relationship—the very foundation of our shared dreams—we will have lost sight of what truly matters.
It’s our responsibility to remain attuned to the state of our marriage and keep any ruts at bay. For more insights on maintaining emotional connections, you can explore articles on related topics, like this one on intracervical insemination, as well as resources from Medline that are invaluable for anyone navigating the journey of pregnancy.
In summary, revitalizing your marriage requires effort, open communication, and a commitment to fostering connection. By making time for each other, setting boundaries, and engaging in joyful activities, you can strengthen your relationship and avoid falling into a rut.