Parenting
Since the arrival of my first child 16 years ago, I’ve noticed a growing trend among mothers embracing a culture of wine appreciation. While I know this inclination has always existed in some form—my friend often recounts tales of her mom and her friends gathering to smoke cigarettes and sip tequila—it seems to be far more socially acceptable to openly joke about the need for alcohol now than it was in the past.
As a mom who doesn’t partake in drinking, I find this phenomenon quite intriguing. I completely understand the urge to find relief from the stresses of parenting; it can be overwhelming. Sure, motherhood is tough, but it’s often the daily grind of addressing basic kid needs that really takes its toll. We all have our coping strategies, some healthier than others.
I’ve come across quite a few humorous “Mommy Needs Wine” memes that make me wonder how moms who abstain manage the challenges of parenthood. Although these memes are meant to be light-hearted, they’ve prompted me to reflect on how I navigate the aspects of parenting that typically drive others to drink.
Here are my go-to strategies:
- Caffeine, caffeine, and more caffeine. Instead of a glass of wine, my fuel is coffee. My children know that I’m not fully functional until I’ve downed my first cup. It’s more than just caffeine, though; my morning latte feels like a small luxury, a way to treat myself right from the start of the day.
- Coffee shops are my sanctuary. While I have no desire to step foot in a bar, a cozy coffee shop can transform my mood. I often escape to my favorite local spots to enjoy a cup of coffee while tapping away on my laptop.
- Writing is my outlet. Throughout my parenting journey, I’ve channeled my experiences into writing—both as a passion and a profession. This not only serves as a creative outlet but also acts as a therapeutic tool.
- Connecting with fellow moms. I find immense comfort in sharing my struggles with my mom friends. Knowing I’m not the only one who sometimes fantasizes about hiding in the bathroom helps maintain my sanity.
- Bathroom breaks become my retreat. In fact, I often find myself spending a bit too much time in there! My family probably thinks I have a long-lasting bathroom routine, but really, I’m just savoring the quiet—until they inevitably come looking for me, of course.
- Letting it all out. Every few months, I have a good, cathartic cry. I’m not one to frequently shed tears, but when I do, it feels cleansing. Sometimes it happens in the shower, other times it’s all over my partner.
- Exercising my frustrations. While I’m not a fan of working out, I’ve discovered that regular physical activity significantly improves my mood and helps me tackle the stresses that come with motherhood.
- Reaching out for support. I have no qualms about asking friends to watch my kids for a few hours. We often swap babysitting duties, ensuring that it’s a mutual exchange. Additionally, I lean on my partner for shared parenting responsibilities.
- Continuous learning. Over the years, I’ve found that having a solid set of tools to address my children’s evolving needs makes motherhood more manageable. I spend time reading and researching, collecting nuggets of parenting wisdom much like some people collect corks.
- Mindfulness practices. While not everyone may be religious, I believe that most moms can benefit from mindfulness or relaxation techniques to help recenter our minds and soothe our souls—whether or not they choose to drink.
Honestly, being a non-drinking mom can feel a bit isolating at times. There are moments when I wonder if I still belong to the “club” without alcohol in my life. It’s striking how often drinking comes up in conversations and media. Perhaps I should create a new meme: “This Mom Doesn’t Do Whine — or Wine.” It just doesn’t have quite the same flair, does it?
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In summary, while the path of motherhood can be daunting, I’ve found my ways to cope without relying on alcohol. By leaning on caffeine, connecting with friends, and seeking out knowledge, I manage to navigate the challenges of parenting with grace.