I’ve mentioned this before, and I’ll repeat it: Life is fleeting, and my patience is limited. I’ve stopped worrying about trivial matters like my kids’ outfits or if my go-to leggings are deemed “appropriate” for my age. If you ask me about my non-Pinterest-worthy home décor, I’ll give you a carefree shrug. I’ve also stopped stressing over nonsense—except for Facebook.
Even though Facebook is often a cesspool of drama where I feel like I need a hazmat suit just to log in, I simply can’t quit it.
Let’s be honest, there are days when a quick scroll through my feed leaves me in need of a refreshing shower or a strong cocktail, or perhaps both. I have to bypass controversial posts and dubious news articles, all while trying to ignore my friends’ likes on posts from questionable sources. And don’t even get me started on those groups selling overpriced leggings or miracle essential oils—I leave, only to find I’ve been added back in minutes later.
Unsubscribe, get notified of my re-entry. Unsubscribe again. It’s a vicious cycle.
Sure, those humblebrags can make me want to gag, and hashtags like #soblessed make me roll my eyes so hard I nearly faint. I’ve grown numb to vague posts about “exciting news” without any context. And let’s not forget the annoying prevalence of fake news. Seriously, what in the world?
Fortunately, there’s a nifty little option called “unfriend” or “unfollow.” Poof! The annoying people are gone. If a sanctimommy kicks off a post with “I don’t mean to judge but…” only to judge another mom for feeding her kids snacks in a theater? See ya! Those who share sexist, racist, or homophobic “jokes”? Deleted. (How were we even connected in the first place?)
Every now and then, I take a break to cleanse my feed of negativity. Yet, I just can’t let go of you, Facebook. Your hilarious memes lift my spirits, your secret groups provide endless distractions, and I’ve made friends across the globe—even if I’ve never heard their voices.
Without Facebook, how would I come across those unbearably cute holiday snapshots or the ridiculous cat videos? How would I relate to you when you’re up all night with a sick toddler, making my own sleeplessness seem less traumatic? How else would I keep up with your new diet or take that quiz to test my ’90s pop culture knowledge? (100%, thank you very much!)
Where else would I get the latest scoop on bizarre Christmas ornaments or learn about the imminent arrival of Girl Scout Cookies in 2023? These are the vital updates I crave.
Let’s face it: The world can often feel daunting and heavy. The news is a constant stream of distressing headlines, bills are piling up, and my pets just made a mess in the living room—again. If it weren’t for the uplifting news of a friend’s promotion or a relative’s adorable kids’ recital, I might just lose my grip on humanity.
In other words, Facebook helps me maintain my sanity amidst the chaos. And it keeps me in the loop, preventing me from becoming that cliché of the oblivious suburban mom. When my son is jamming to a new tune, I can share it on Facebook and appear to be the cool mom who knows her indie bands. When I’m puzzled about what a Hatchimal is, Facebook enlightens me—only to remind me that I’m hopelessly behind the times!
If I want to weigh the pros and cons of different parenting methods, Facebook is there to offer endless insights and advice.
And let’s not overlook the sheer joy of distraction it provides. When my kids are battling with plastic swords and my husband calls to say he’s running late, and I’m out of chocolate and wine… Forget about a relaxing bubble bath—nothing beats a little mindless scrolling on Facebook to escape.
So while I’m purging myself of negativity and unnecessary drama, Facebook remains in my life. Because when all else fails, there are always those charming cat videos.
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In summary, Facebook, despite your flaws, you keep me connected, entertained, and somewhat sane in this chaotic world.