When Is the Right Time to Stop Letting Our Sons See Us Naked?

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As a mother of four boys, I’ve always been quite open about nudity around them. With a busy household that included a 7-year-old, a 4-year-old, a 3-year-old, and a newborn, I had little choice but to embrace the chaos. My sons often saw me in various states of undress — whether I was nursing the baby, showering, or changing clothes. For me, it felt completely natural.

I believed that allowing my boys to see my body, complete with all its imperfections, would offer them a realistic view of women’s bodies — a contrast to the unrealistic images they might encounter in the media later on. My hope was to cultivate healthy expectations for their future partners, emphasizing that our bodies are not something to be ashamed of. Nudity, while intertwined with sexuality, is also simply a part of life.

In my enthusiasm, I penned a blog post titled “Why I Want My Sons To See Me Naked.” However, I was unprepared for the overwhelming backlash that followed. The response went viral, and suddenly, I was facing harsh criticism from all corners of the internet. Many people, it seemed, had formed opinions based solely on the provocative title, calling me everything from a “pervert” to the “worst mother ever.” I clung to supportive comments like they were a lifeline amid the storm.

During this intense period, I was frequently asked a question that I struggled to answer: When would I stop letting my sons see me naked? I would joke that it would be when they learned to knock or when they began to feel uncomfortable. For the most part, my boys were unfazed by my nudity, occasionally inquiring about the “funny lines” on my stomach but otherwise acting indifferent.

However, about a year later, after my oldest turned 10, I got my answer. One day, while I was getting ready for a shower, he walked in and, upon seeing me undressed, yelped and bolted from the room. This was the same child who used to play happily on the bathroom floor while I went about my business. Suddenly, my nudity had become an issue for him.

Now that my boys are a bit older, my youngest, who is 4, still doesn’t mind seeing me without clothes, although he has a habit of commenting on my “squishy belly.” Meanwhile, my older boys, aged 11, almost 9, and 7, are starting to respect the idea of privacy, though they still occasionally barge in with urgent questions.

Reflecting on it all, I have no regrets about allowing my sons to see me naked. It has fostered a sense of body acceptance and opened discussions about the differences between genders. It has also helped them understand that nudity doesn’t equate to sexuality — a vital lesson in today’s world, where a victim’s attire can be scrutinized.

Eventually, there comes a natural point when they simply don’t want to see it anymore, and they learn to respect boundaries. One minute, they’re inquiring while you’re in the tub, and the next, they’re asking for “eye bleach” after an accidental glimpse.

And, truthfully, one of the best parts? I can finally enjoy some peace in the bathroom again!

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Summary

The author reflects on the journey of allowing her sons to see her naked, discussing the societal implications, personal experiences, and eventual realization of when children become aware of privacy. The openness has fostered body acceptance and healthy conversations about nudity and gender differences.