I’ll be the first to admit it, even if it means being labeled as an irresponsible parent or worse. I know I’ll face harsh judgment, with some claiming I don’t deserve my children and that I’m putting them in danger by leaving them alone, even for a moment. Some might even threaten to involve child protective services, while others will express disbelief that no one has done so yet.
People will assume I’m lazy or tell me I shouldn’t have had kids at all. Despite all this, I occasionally leave my kids in the car.
To clarify: I have three boys, aged 6, 5, and 3. Only my older two can unbuckle themselves, and I ensure they’re in a locked minivan, with the ignition off and keys out of reach, on days that are below 70 degrees — and never for longer than three minutes. Most of the time, this happens when I need to pay for gas in cash, pick up a prescription, or quickly drop something off (like my husband’s lunch at his school).
I never leave them while shopping, and I always double-check that the doors are locked and the keys are in my hand. Yet, every single time, I feel that same anxiety about judgment and public scrutiny. I don’t want to feel that way, but I refuse to give in to the hysteria.
Reflections on My Childhood
When I was a child, my mother left us in the car frequently. She’d ask if we wanted to join her in the grocery store or stay in the car. “Stay in the car!” we’d shout with excitement. My younger sister and I would wait until Mom was out of sight, then unbuckle and crawl into the front seats, pretending to drive to magical places like Disney World. We’d honk the horn and giggle at the startled passersby.
On warm days, my mom would simply roll down the windows. This was during the mid to late 1980s, a time when “stranger danger” was a prevalent fear, yet she seemed unconcerned about leaving us alone for several minutes. She trusted that if we needed help, someone would come to our aid.
I, on the other hand, struggle to share that faith. It’s not the fear of abduction or harm that worries me. Statistics show that violent crime has dropped dramatically since the early ’90s, with reports indicating that the U.S. murder rate has halved since then. Child abductions by strangers are incredibly rare, with only about 115 cases reported in 1999, the last year for which we have comprehensive data.
What truly concerns me are the onlookers who might see my kids alone in the car. I fear they could harm my family by calling the police. There have been countless stories of parents who left their children in cars for a few moments only to face legal consequences from well-meaning bystanders. While it’s not illegal in my state to leave kids in a car, child endangerment laws can still be leveraged against parents.
Making Practical Choices
Despite these fears, I refuse to let public perception dictate my choices. I know the risks are minimal, and the benefits are significant. It’s often easier to leave the boys in the car rather than unbuckle them and march them in for quick errands. Anyone who has dealt with modern car seats can understand the struggle.
So, while I may worry about the judgment from well-meaning strangers, I will continue to leave my kids in the car when necessary. It’s a safe choice for such brief periods, and frankly, it’s the most practical option for quick tasks. Nothing major is going to happen in three minutes — except perhaps a concerned Baby Boomer with a cell phone.
Ultimately, I don’t worry about my kids; I worry about how I’ll be viewed.
Further Reading
For more insights into parenting and related topics, check out this post about home insemination. You might also find valuable information on fertility at Make a Mom, and if you’re looking for in-depth resources on pregnancy, this Wikipedia page is excellent.
Summary
Navigating the challenges of parenting can be daunting, especially when it comes to leaving kids alone in the car for short errands. Despite societal pressures and fears of judgment, many parents find themselves in similar situations, weighing the risks against the practicality of their choices. The key is to remain informed and confident in your decisions while understanding that modern parenting often comes with a unique set of anxieties.