When I was eight, I had my heart set on an Easy-Bake Oven for Christmas. Personal pan pizzas were all the rage back then, and nothing paired better with a BOOK IT! dinner than a funfetti cake baked under a blinking light bulb. Ah, the ’90s!
However, it didn’t take long for me to realize my Easy-Bake Oven wasn’t the culinary wonder I imagined. The cakes often turned out mushy in the center, and despite my efforts, they always had a chalky taste.
Children thrive on real experiences. Montessori education emphasizes that kids can engage in meaningful work. By involving them in genuine tasks from the start, they not only learn to do it effectively but also come to enjoy it. In a Montessori setting, kids would use kid-sized utensils and a real oven (with supervision, of course) to learn how to cook.
In 1993 rural Minnesota, I didn’t have access to those child-sized tools, but eventually, I learned to bake a funfetti cake that my Girl Scout troop adored.
There’s a kind of community service that reminds me of that Easy-Bake Oven. Often referred to as random acts of kindness, paying it forward, or filling someone’s bucket, this concept suggests that one good deed sparks a chain reaction. If we brighten someone’s day, they’ll, in turn, spread kindness to others, creating a beautiful ripple effect.
Sounds lovely, right? And studies even suggest it works.
But like my Easy-Bake Oven, it’s not the whole truth.
What Are Random Acts of Kindness?
A quick search for random acts of kindness yields suggestions like:
- Holding the door for someone
- Assisting someone with heavy items
- Taping popcorn bags to Redbox machines
- Letting someone go ahead in line
- Smiling at strangers
- Returning shopping carts at the grocery store
These actions reflect basic human decency, mixed with a touch of whimsy. However, when we tell ourselves—and teach our children—that this is the extent of community involvement, we’re doing everyone a disservice.
Random acts of kindness are easy and low-risk. They often don’t require engaging with unfamiliar people or venturing into new neighborhoods. For instance, if your child thinks that helping someone means buying a coffee for the person behind you at Starbucks—who likely can afford it—real discussions about poverty, racism, or injustice are avoided.
This type of community engagement is a watered-down version of what’s truly needed. It’s fun and cute! Sure, letting someone go ahead in line might inspire them to pay it forward, and I genuinely support spreading joy. It’s commendable to teach our kids to be kind and compassionate.
However, the challenge arises when we confuse these small acts with genuine social justice work. The risk is that we’ll feel satisfied with a door held open, pat ourselves on the back, and ignore the need for true institutional change.
Shifting Our Approach to Community Service
This holiday season, let’s shift our approach to community service. Imagine adopting a Montessori-inspired perspective and guiding our kids toward meaningful work.
Every family’s journey will look different. Maybe you want to introduce the topic of homelessness to your children. You could assemble care kits for those in need and distribute them to individuals at intersections. Make eye contact, offer a warm greeting, or even engage in conversation.
Or perhaps you want to address hunger by donating food to a local pantry. Involve your children in stocking shelves or bagging groceries for those in need.
If your kids are ready for deeper conversations, consider discussing racism. This summer, I began talking with my son about our privilege as a white family. We read books about the Civil Rights Movement, discussed the importance of protest in democracy, and participated in a family rally advocating for justice.
When talking about current issues, I introduced him to the Standing Rock protests. He asked insightful questions, and we explored indigenous history, listened to music from A Tribe Called Red, and understood the significance of the protests.
When a friend collected supplies for those at Standing Rock, we took our kids shopping to pick out necessary items.
Recently, when it was announced that the Dakota Access Pipeline would be rerouted, I couldn’t wait to share the news with my son. His response? “Mom, I think the water protectors won the good fight.”
Kids can discern what’s real. Just like I once munched on cardboard-flavored Easy-Bake brownies, they yearn for genuine experiences.
Resources for Further Learning
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Summary
Random acts of kindness, while valuable, should not replace meaningful community service. Engaging children in genuine, impactful work fosters empathy and understanding of deeper social issues, encouraging them to become advocates for real change in their communities.