It’s 9:45 p.m., and I’m struggling to keep my eyes open while I fix a typo in my opening paragraph. Suddenly, I hear my daughter from her bedroom, “Mom! I’m scared! Can you come lay with me?” I quickly ask my partner to go to her instead. With a deadline looming first thing in the morning, I need to wrap this up before my brain turns to mush.
“But I want Mommy!” she wails.
“She’s busy working, sweetheart,” my partner reassures her.
My heart sinks a bit. I can’t help but picture my daughter one day sitting in a therapist’s office, saying, “My mom was always busy with work.”
It sounds dramatic, but the guilt that accompanies working from home is quite real and something I never anticipated.
From an early age, I envisioned myself as a stay-at-home mom. I always thought I would work for a while, get married, have kids, and then fully embrace motherhood. I did work for a time, got married, but when our first child arrived, it became clear that I needed to earn an income. So, I started a small editing business at home to maintain my professional skills while bringing in some money. Eventually, I sought more consistent work and began online tutoring, aligning my hours with my partner’s schedule. Everything seemed to fall into place.
Fast forward 15 years, and I’ve held at least seven different work-from-home positions, often juggling multiple roles simultaneously. For the most part, it’s been fantastic. I enjoy the flexibility of setting my own schedule, being present for my kids during the day, maintaining my career, and contributing to our family finances. I feel incredibly fortunate to have sustained this work-from-home lifestyle.
Challenges of Working from Home
However, it’s not all sunshine and daisies.
Working from home means that my workspace is literally in my home. There’s no clear division between my personal and professional life, which can be challenging. I love the flexibility, but it can become a double-edged sword. Without strict discipline, it’s all too easy for work and personal time to blend together. I find myself working in sporadic bursts throughout the day and evening, leading to a perpetual feeling of being “on,” even when I’m only putting in part-time hours.
And I worry about what my kids perceive. I’m physically present, but emotionally, I’m often not. They see me typing away on the computer, and to them, it doesn’t necessarily signal “work.” They simply know that Mom isn’t available for their needs.
Bless their hearts, they don’t make it easy either. When I wake up early to sneak in some work before they rise, they somehow manage to wake up early too. When I wait until they’re tucked in for the night to catch up on tasks, they inevitably call for me or want to have a deep conversation just as I’m settling down to work.
While I can retreat to my office, it doesn’t always solve the problem. When Mom is home, she’s always “on call.” I often escape to coffee shops to work, which is one of my favorite pastimes, but that’s not a daily option.
Then there’s the never-ending household chores. Keeping young children occupied without too much screen time usually leads to a fair amount of mess. Happy kids equal uninterrupted work time for Mom, but it also means extra cleanup afterward. I constantly face piles of laundry, dusty shelves, and dishes that never seem to stay clean. These chores loom over me all day long. I’m part of the chaos and contributing to it while being driven mad by it. Since work and kids take precedence, household responsibilities often end up on the back burner—and sometimes, they boil over, bringing a few metaphorical fire alarms.
Finding Balance
Yet, it’s not all negative. I never miss my kids’ activities, and I get to cherish a lot of moments with them. I’ve learned to compartmentalize my time and set firm boundaries, which has been beneficial. I’ve also had to work on not feeling guilty about working in front of my children, though I still wrestle with that at times. Thankfully, my partner is incredibly supportive, and overall, the positives outweigh the challenges.
I wouldn’t trade my work-from-home experience for anything; I’m genuinely grateful for the flexibility it provides. However, I caution others not to idealize it too much. Being a work-at-home mom has its perks but also its struggles.
Additional Resources
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Summary
Being a work-at-home mom offers a unique blend of flexibility and challenges. While it allows for family time and the ability to contribute financially, it also blurs the lines between personal and professional life, leading to guilt and constant distractions. Learning to manage time effectively is crucial for balancing work and family responsibilities.