As kids, we often pondered, “Does my mom have a favorite?” or “Who’s my dad’s go-to?” Those feelings of jealousy toward our siblings could sting, as we convinced ourselves that they were the golden child. Fast forward to adulthood, and we promised ourselves we would never favor one child over another. But here I am, candidly admitting that I do have a favorite child.
It’s the one who greets each day with a smile, gets dressed without a fuss, and even lends a hand when I need it — that’s my favorite child. The one who showers me with kisses and snuggles? Yep, that’s also a favorite. The child who cries because their toy is broken or their feelings are hurt? They’re my favorite too. And when one of them says something clever or makes me laugh until I cry? That’s my favorite child too. The one who gazes at me with pure adoration? Definitely my favorite.
On their birthday, they take the top spot as my favorite child. But the one who constantly calls my name or has a meltdown? Well, they tend to be my least favorite at that moment. The child who throws tantrums or can’t be consoled? Yep, they’re my least favorite too. These roles shift frequently, sometimes even from one hour to the next.
I won’t apologize for not showering equal love on all three of my kids at the same time. My emotions are real, and I can’t change what I feel. After all, I am who I am. There are days when everything aligns perfectly — we’ve all had enough sleep, and the stars are shining just right. Those days feel magical, but they’re rare treasures hidden beneath the everyday grind.
Here’s the truth: Each child is deeply loved, and I’ve made peace with the fact that my affections can fluctuate. While I may occasionally give a mental eye-roll to one of my little angels, I’m only doing that internally. Outwardly, I do my best to show love and patience, even when it’s challenging. I adore every single one of them. Each of my little ones gets their moment in the spotlight, whether it’s twirling with the two-year-old during our spontaneous dance party, building a fort with my four-year-old, or snuggling my baby as the sun sets.
I didn’t just create these little humans to make the world a better place; truth be told, I made them to experience a deeper love, to enjoy the rewards of meaningful labor, and to hold a piece of the divine in my arms. So I don’t feel guilty when I share why each one is my favorite. Sure, I might feel a twinge of selfishness for choosing a ‘favorite of the moment’ based on my ever-changing feelings, but I appreciate that I’m not judging them by their achievements or personality traits.
I suspect my kids will feel both special and not-so-special at times, and they may even wonder who my ultimate favorite is. This feels familiar, doesn’t it?
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In summary, it’s perfectly normal to have a favorite child at different moments, and embracing that reality can lead to a happier parenting experience. After all, each child brings something unique and precious to your life.