Recently, we had a power outage right when I needed to pick up my kids from school. To get out of the garage, I had to manually disconnect the garage door from the automatic opener. After we returned home and the power was restored, I needed to reattach it, which required me to climb onto the back of our car. While I was balancing one foot on the bumper and the other on the garage door in a rather awkward pose, my son asked why I didn’t just wait for his dad to do it.
I explained to him that I was more than capable of taking care of things on my own. While that was a simple answer, I had many deeper motivations for wanting to handle it myself. Now that my kids are older and I don’t have to keep a constant eye on them, I genuinely enjoy tackling tasks independently for several reasons.
I Want to Learn New Skills
I believe in the power of learning through experience, even if it takes me a while to master something. I find joy in getting my hands dirty and figuring things out, which boosts my confidence. There’s something incredibly satisfying about demonstrating my abilities, like when I took down an old cabinet or disconnected a light fixture in front of my kids. In those moments, they saw me as a superhero—and honestly, I felt like one too!
I’m Just Too Impatient
When I buy something that needs to be hung or decide I want to repaint a room, I can’t stand waiting for my partner’s help. I don’t mind putting in the effort, even if it takes me half the day and a few drinks. I get anxious when I procrastinate, and I struggle to concentrate when there are unfinished projects around me. It’s just how I’m wired. Instead of passing on that urgency to my laid-back partner, I find it’s better for everyone if I take care of it myself.
Setting a Good Example for My Kids
I want my children to see me doing as much as their dad does. I don’t want them to grow up thinking that some tasks are for men and others are for women. If you see something that needs to be done and you’re able to do it, then you should go for it! I want my kids to learn the value of being self-sufficient, whether it’s fixing a leaky faucet or building a shelf.
Recognizing Dad’s Hard Work
When my partner comes home after a long day, the last thing he wants to do is tackle home repairs, and honestly, I can’t blame him.
My Redecorating Passion
I admit that I love to redecorate, which isn’t always his cup of tea. Sometimes, I manage to pull it off before he gets home, so he’s blissfully unaware of the chaos that may have unfolded in our living room or bedroom. There was a time I was in tears trying to paint stripes in our bathroom, but I figured it out. It took him six months to notice—so I consider that a win!
Understanding Dad’s Procrastination
He tends to take his time with household tasks. To him, a light bulb can wait, whereas I can’t stand the sight of unfinished projects. If something needs to be done, I want it completed promptly, or I start feeling cranky.
Facing the Reality of Life
I didn’t tell my son this, but one of the main reasons I like to do things myself is that life is unpredictable. I’ve seen a close friend lose her husband and feel utterly helpless. She relied on him for everything around the house and didn’t even know how to unclog a toilet. That thought terrifies me. I want to be prepared, empowered, and capable of handling emergencies.
Keeping My Mind Sharp
Being a stay-at-home mom can feel mentally draining, and I often feel like I’m losing touch with my cognitive skills. I have no regrets about my choice, but tackling projects like changing cabinet doors or researching how to stain a deck helps keep my brain engaged and sharp.
That said, it doesn’t mean that we don’t work together or seek each other’s help. I’ve definitely called him in a panic over a household mishap before! I just want to do my part and embrace the learning process. I enjoy using tools and want my kids to see their mom in action. I’m not afraid to make mistakes because it teaches them perseverance and the importance of tackling challenges.
In summary, I take pride in managing tasks myself, not just for my own satisfaction but to set a positive example for my children. I embrace the learning opportunities that come with these challenges and enjoy empowering myself to handle life’s little curveballs.