Oh, how I see you! You might think I’m just perched up here, but trust me, I’m fully aware of your antics. You’ve turned your home into a whirlwind of toys and chaos, and despite Mom and Dad asking you to tidy up at least a dozen times each day, you merely nod and pretend to help. You’ve mastered the art of pretend! You toss a couple of toys into the bin and then sneak right back to the fun once the coast is clear.
Honestly, I can’t blame you. Your parents seem to be so busy with their laundry, cooking, and that never-ending obsession with their screens that they often forget to play with you. Who wouldn’t want to scatter their toys everywhere when it’s your only source of entertainment?
But here’s something puzzling: how can such tiny humans eat so much? Seriously! I nearly fell off my shelf when I saw you munching away at pizza, only to head back to the kitchen moments later for a bowl of chocolate cereal. I lost count of how many times you visited the refrigerator in one day. It’s impressive—maybe even more than Santa!
And let’s talk about those booger-wiping habits. I see you casually using the sofa as a tissue, and that’s a bit wild, don’t you think? You know, napkins are supposed to be your friends! Yet, they seem to terrify you so much that they remain untouched on the table. You’d rather use your sleeves or shirts, which I find rather amusing but a bit messy too.
Now, let’s chat about the whining. Oh dear, the whining! It’s like a magical tool that always gets you what you want, and I totally get why you do it. But could you please take it down a notch? My little ears can only take so much! I see the strain on your parents’ faces when you unleash those sounds; it’s like watching a balloon about to pop!
I mean, what if you tried asking nicely instead? A sweet smile or those adorable puppy eyes would surely do wonders! I deserve some of that charm too, but I can’t help but wonder why you reserve it for me and not the dog, who quite frankly, has some questionable habits.
Anyway, while I won’t be reporting anything to Santa, let’s be real—you’re a bit on the naughty side. But it’s nothing that a little adjustment can’t fix before next Christmas rolls around, right?
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So, keep up the good work, little ones, but maybe consider cleaning up a bit and using those napkins!