The Maternity Leave Wisdom I Wish I’d Received

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For many new working moms, navigating maternity leave can be quite the challenge. Before the arrival of a baby, our lives are often filled with demanding work schedules, numerous responsibilities, and the continuous hustle to climb the career ladder. We’re accustomed to being available at all hours, juggling tasks and staying connected through our devices.

Bringing a baby into the mix will undoubtedly change everything. After my own three-and-a-half-month maternity leave, following 15 years in a career I cherish, I’ve reflected on what I did right and what I wish I had done differently. Caring for a newborn has proven to be far more demanding than any job I’ve had.

The initial weeks post-baby are the most significant adjustment. I, like many, continued to work right up until my due date, thinking I could manage it all. However, when my little one finally arrived, shifting gears from my fast-paced job to focusing solely on my newborn was a challenge. Despite the exhaustion and constant demands of a new baby, I had to consciously make an effort to unplug from work and dedicate myself entirely to motherhood.

In those early days, the moment the baby napped, my instinct was to tackle household chores or check things off my to-do list. It took me until the third month of my leave to realize how quickly this precious time was slipping away and that I would never get it back. As I prepare to return to work, I want to share some insights for first-time moms embarking on their maternity leave journey. Remember, every mom and baby is unique, and circumstances vary widely—some may enjoy paid leave, while others navigate unpaid time off. Here are my top pieces of advice that I wish someone had shared with me to ensure a fulfilling maternity leave.

Prioritize Daily Naps:

If I could change one thing, it would be to incorporate a daily nap into my routine. The nighttime disruptions from the baby mean you’ll never get enough sleep. Just lying down to rest, even if you can’t sleep, can help rejuvenate you. I found afternoon naps to be particularly beneficial after an exhausting morning.

Get Out of the House:

Maternity leave can feel isolating, especially if you’re recovering from a C-section. Whether it’s a simple walk, a visit to a new moms’ group, or a stroll through Target, getting out is essential. My initial outings were chaotic, but with practice, I became more prepared for diaper changes and feeding sessions on the go. Also, don’t underestimate the importance of a break from the baby. My first solo outing left me anxious, but it was refreshing and reinvigorating.

Treat Yourself to a Postnatal Massage:

Your body can feel tight and sore after childbirth. I regret not scheduling more massages during my leave; they are a wonderful way to treat yourself and alleviate tension.

Avoid Work Emails:

Despite my colleagues’ encouragement to stay away from work emails, I found it hard to resist the habit. It wasn’t until the final month of my leave that I truly refrained from checking in. Remember, your job can wait—you’re on leave to bond with your baby and that time is irreplaceable.

Listen to Parenting Podcasts:

While I read numerous pregnancy books, I was unprepared for newborn care. I found podcasts like Totally Mommy and Coffee + Crumbs invaluable. They provided insights into managing newborn challenges and even helped me relax and catch some sleep.

Build Your Support Network:

After my baby arrived, I had countless questions. While I had friends to turn to, many lived far away. I began attending local moms’ groups and formed a Facebook group with friends across the country. This online community has been tremendously supportive for sharing advice and experiences.

Travel with Your Baby:

At eight weeks old, I took my baby on a trip to Washington, D.C., with my husband. While the preparation was stressful, the experience itself was rewarding. I gained confidence as a parent by navigating the city with my baby and reconnecting with friends.

Express Gratitude:

This may sound tedious, but sending thank-you notes for gifts is important. We received so many thoughtful presents, from handmade quilts to cherished keepsakes. Acknowledging these gestures is a meaningful way to show appreciation.

Test Run Daycare:

Since daycare spots are competitive, we secured a place that started two weeks before I returned to work. This allowed for a gradual adjustment to the drop-off routine and lessened the emotional impact of leaving my baby.

Take Leave Early:

If possible, consider starting your maternity leave a week or so before your due date. The last weeks of pregnancy can be exhausting—giving yourself that extra time can be invaluable.

Organize a Meal Train:

Having meals provided during the first few weeks postpartum was a lifesaver. Friends can use platforms like Meal Baby to help organize a meal train, which also allows for socializing and adult conversation.

Ease Back into Work:

If your situation permits, take advantage of any opportunities to gradually return to work. In my case, I’m starting with a flexible schedule to help make the transition smoother.

Indulge a Little:

Don’t shy away from enjoying ice cream or a glass of wine. After all, you deserve it!

Lastly, it’s crucial to remain vigilant about postpartum depression. It can creep up on you, and taking care of a newborn is no small feat. My doctor recommended adjusting my anxiety medication during the last two months of my maternity leave, which helped tremendously. If you ever feel overwhelmed, don’t hesitate to reach out to a doctor, therapist, or a supportive friend.

These days should be filled with joyful memories of bonding with your little one, so cherish this time, take care of yourself, and revel in the journey of motherhood.

Summary:

Navigating maternity leave can be challenging for new moms. Prioritizing self-care, building a support network, and taking breaks can help make the experience more fulfilling. From incorporating daily naps to exploring local groups and even traveling with your baby, these insights can help ensure you make the most of your maternity leave. Remember to take care of your mental health and enjoy this special time with your newborn.