New Moms, Don’t Confuse My Parenting Journey with Expertise

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As I waddled out of a diner, nine months pregnant with my third child and my two-year-old in tow, I spotted a couple with a newborn. I smiled and congratulated them, offering to hold the door open as my husband joined us with our older kids. The new dad looked at me, wide-eyed, and exclaimed, “Wow, that’s a lot of kids! You must be a parenting pro. Can you give us some tips?”

I felt the urge to embrace the “expert” persona he assumed I had, but then I locked eyes with the new mom. She was a familiar sight—someone grappling with the daunting reality of motherhood, filled with hope yet vulnerable, likely questioning if she was doing everything right. More than advice, what she needed was reassurance that she was enough.

Once, I was in her shoes, so I responded gently: “You don’t need my advice. Your baby is peacefully sleeping in her carrier while you’re out and about—that’s quite an achievement! You already have this parenting thing down.”

Her look of gratitude told me my compliment was what she really needed at that moment, rather than a list of expert tips. I remembered my early days as a new mom, overwhelmed and feeling like a failure, and I was thankful I didn’t let my ego take over. The postpartum period can be a rollercoaster of emotions, often clouding our judgment and making it hard to manage triggers.

Sure, as a mom of three, I have a wealth of experience. On paper, I could easily outshine a mom with a single child who claims to know the struggles of sleepless nights. But honestly, I’ve grown accustomed to the disruptions, and my experience often brings me more peace than exhaustion. While I might have more responsibilities, like tackling laundry and managing chaos during family stomach bugs, I don’t believe that makes me any more skilled at navigating motherhood.

The challenges we face are universal. Just last night at dinner, I found myself mediating between a child who was more interested in picking at his boogers than eating his pasta, another demanding “red sauce, not butter,” and the youngest tossing food on the floor. My goal was to get through dinner with minimal fuss, a request that continually proves unrealistic.

The chaos of dinnertime remains a shared experience among all moms, regardless of how many children we have. The only difference now is that I’m juggling multiple rounds of the “I’m going to be difficult just because it’s dinner” routine all at once. But hey, as someone who wants to be a writer someday, I’ll consider it material for my future stories.

You see, I’ve evolved since my early days as a mom. I wouldn’t have dared to let my child eat food off the floor back then, but now I watch my little one scavenging as I tidy up. It’s all about multitasking, right?

Instead of pretending to be an expert, I’ll admit that I’m just as confused as I was when I started this journey. My second-grader often tells me there’s too much in her brain to handle an extra math page, and I can relate. The constant influx of contradicting parenting advice drives me up the wall, and if I come across one more study that flips everything I thought I knew upside down, I might throw a fit like she did over her math homework.

That’s precisely why I chose not to offer advice to the new mom in the diner. In fact, I’ve often turned to newer moms for insight. Recently, while visiting my hairstylist—a first-time mom—I sought her thoughts on a formula I was struggling with. Her recommendations were invaluable, saving my sanity and my nursing experience.

To all the new moms out there: when you see me with my three kids, don’t mistake me for an expert. I’m just as frazzled and overwhelmed, and I might even be a bit cranky. You, with your youthful energy and up-to-date knowledge, might feel just as intimidating.

I’ll freely admit that I tout being a “mom of three” in my writing profile to grab attention, but now that you’re here, I want to clarify—I’m not an expert. We can learn from one another, and it’s vital to give new moms the respect they deserve. For more insightful information on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy. And if you’re interested in home insemination kits, you can find helpful information here and also explore what Make a Mom has to offer.

In summary, we’re all navigating this journey together, and no one has it all figured out. Let’s support each other in this beautiful chaos of motherhood.