Recently, a friend shared an adorable photo of her baby sitting on Santa’s lap, capturing that cherished moment many parents dream of. However, our family doesn’t have a picture like that, as we opted not to take our son to meet Santa.
From the very beginning, even before his autism spectrum disorder diagnosis, I sensed that attempting such an outing would not go well. The mere act of loading him into the car—disrupting his usual routine—could trigger anxiety. If we attempted it in the evening, it would add an extra layer of stress after a day filled with sensory inputs.
The bustling mall, filled with loud noises, unfamiliar scents, harsh lighting, and a sea of people, could easily overwhelm him. Standing in a long line with other unhappy children was likely to elevate his stress levels even further. And then there was the prospect of placing him in the arms of a stranger concealed behind a big fluffy beard. All these factors could lead to a meltdown, and I wasn’t prepared to put us through that.
While I did briefly wonder if we were missing out on a traditional experience, knowing the potential discomfort for my son quickly put those thoughts to rest. I realized that pursuing a “typical” experience wouldn’t be worth the emotional toll it could take on him.
In our parenting journey, I made the choice to prioritize our son’s well-being over traditional milestones. Sometimes, we managed to snap a first-day-of-school photo, but many times we didn’t. Instead, we captured memories at other times, and that was perfectly fine.
Reflecting on our decisions, I recognize that we may have skipped some common experiences, but what value do traditions have if they don’t bring joy? Forcing ourselves into uncomfortable situations for the sake of tradition could lead to resentment and stress instead of cherished memories.
So, no photo with Santa for us. What we do have is our son’s trust that we will always prioritize his comfort over tradition. That bond is far more meaningful than any holiday snapshot.
If you’re interested in more parenting insights, check out our other blog posts like this one and consider resources from Make A Mom or News Medical for helpful information on pregnancy and home insemination.
In summary, we chose to forgo the traditional photo with Santa to prioritize our son’s comfort, creating a stronger bond built on trust and understanding instead.