Every year as the calendar flips, I find myself reflecting on how to make the upcoming year better. I compile a list of resolutions that are both hopeful and achievable—though let’s be honest, a fitness goal often fizzles out by January 4. Amidst my personal aspirations, there’s usually a familiar resolution about not letting my kids drive me up the wall. And, of course, I always vow to spend more quality time with my partner, which quickly fades once the flood of birthday invitations and school activities arrive.
Recently, I took a moment to ponder how I could elevate my role as a parent, partner, and individual. After some deep thought, I came to a striking conclusion: I actually don’t need to change much. Not because I’m a perfect mom or a stellar partner—far from it! It’s not because I’ve achieved my ideal weight or maintain my cool at all times (I don’t). The reason is that I’m not the one in the household who truly needs to have a heart-to-heart about behavior. I’m not the one who can’t find a laundry basket or thinks half the dishes are clean enough. I’m the one stepping in to clean up the chaos.
And let’s be real—so are you.
We moms juggle making lunches, preparing breakfasts, and listening to endless tales about superheroes. We buy gifts for kids we’ve never met and drive our children around town like unpaid taxi services. We wipe tears, clean up messes, and exist on little to no sleep, all while wearing a smile. It’s our families who should be making resolutions, not us.
So, instead of drafting a list of how we can improve, let’s focus on what our families can commit to this year. Here’s my revamped list:
- Pick Up After Yourselves. We don’t live in a museum. Your dirty laundry isn’t going to walk itself to the hamper, and those shoes in the middle of the floor? I’ve nearly tripped over them a dozen times. If I get hurt, who’s going to take care of things? Oh right, you will!
- Stop Handing Me Your Trash. I appreciate the thought, but unless you’re in dire need of a trash can, find one yourself. I promise it won’t bite.
- Timing Is Everything, Especially When It Comes to Intimacy. To my dear partner, if you’re looking for some romantic time, perhaps help around the house would be a better approach. Teamwork makes the dream work, right?
- Dinner Complaints? Not Welcome. Remember, kids, when I was your age, we had meals that aren’t on the “kid-friendly” menu. If dinner doesn’t tickle your fancy, tough luck! Just say thank you and make your own if you’re so inclined.
- Homework Isn’t My Issue. That meltdown over “Why do I have to do homework?” is getting old. Your job as a kid is to be kind and succeed in school—so let’s get to it without the drama!
- Engaging with Your Kids Isn’t Heroic, It’s Expected. Just because I carried them doesn’t make me the sole caretaker. When you help out, it’s just part of being a parent. No capes needed.
- Tying Shoes Is a Basic Skill. You’re not toddlers anymore. Tie your own shoes and save us all from potential accidents. It only takes a few seconds!
- Reach Out to Your Family. Just because I gave birth doesn’t mean I’m the family communication hub. If you want your parents updated, you can do it yourself. When they visit, remember, I’m not the event planner.
- Watch Your Words. I love your honesty, kids, but some thoughts should stay in your head. Tact is a skill that will serve you well—especially when it comes to expressing opinions about me!
- Respect My Sleep. If my eyes are closed, that’s a sign I’m trying to catch some z’s! Unless it’s a true emergency, let me rest. A well-rested mom is a happier mom.
So, as you contemplate self-improvement for the New Year, consider that maybe the only resolution you need is to give yourself a break. Let’s embrace the chaos and remember—it’s not easy being a mom, but we’re doing our best. Your family may not say it often, but they appreciate all that you do (they’re just too busy picking up after themselves).
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Summary: Instead of focusing on self-improvement, this New Year’s resolution list challenges families to take responsibility for their actions and contribute to the household in meaningful ways. Moms are already doing enough, and it’s time for everyone else to step up!