Updated: Dec. 26, 2023
Originally Published: Dec. 23, 2023
As a mother of three daughters aged 15, 12, and 6, I’ve accumulated about 30 years of parenting experience. You might think that makes me an expert, but in reality, parenting is a continuous journey that demands flexibility, resilience, and a generous amount of self-compassion. Both my kids and I are constantly evolving. What I once deemed essential for my first child—strict bedtimes, for instance—has changed dramatically with my younger ones. While I’m not necessarily more skilled with my last child than I was with my first, I’ve learned to prioritize what truly matters for each of my children. Reflecting on my journey, here are some valuable lessons I’ve gleaned about raising kids:
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Embrace Imperfection.
No one is flawless—not you, not your child. Let go of those unrealistic Pinterest ideals and you’ll find greater happiness. Before my eldest was born, I devoured parenting books, peppered my pediatrician with questions, and even took newborn classes, all in hopes of achieving perfection. Spoiler alert: there will be choices you’ll regret. Accept that parenting is about finding what works for your unique family, imperfections included.
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Kids Need Less Than You Assume.
Right now, my youngest is happily nestled in a large cardboard box from a recent delivery, coloring it with markers. I used to feel guilty for not organizing elaborate outings or playdates, but I’ve come to realize that sometimes the simplest activities are the most fulfilling. If she gets bored, it’s a chance for her to learn how to cope with that feeling.
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Listen More, Talk Less.
Children crave to be heard. As someone who tends to dominate conversations, I’ve learned that asking too many questions can backfire. Now, I focus on smiling and listening when they share their thoughts, whether about their day or their latest crush. Feeling validated is crucial at any age.
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Kids Can Be Challenging.
Yes, kids can be difficult. Their behavior often stems from not understanding boundaries, testing limits, or simply behaving mischievously. I’ve stopped taking their “bad” behavior personally and instead focus on guiding them to make better choices. Keeping my cool has become essential.
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Missing Events Isn’t Catastrophic.
As a busy mom, attending every single school event or game is simply not possible—and sometimes not even desirable. I used to feel guilty when I couldn’t be there, but I’ve learned that my kids are resilient. They understand that they can still shine without my presence, and I get a well-deserved break.
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You’re the Boss.
Despite the chaos—whether it’s a toddler tantrum or a teenager’s eye roll—you are still in charge. I’ve discovered that when I assert boundaries during tumultuous moments, my children often respond more positively and quickly return to calm.
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Prepare to be Amazed.
Just when I think my child-free friends might have it easier, my kids surprise me with their intelligence, insight, and unconditional love. The other night, my youngest declared, “I don’t need to pee, Mama. I just need to hug and kiss and love you!” For a brief moment, I felt like the best parent ever, until she accidentally left the hamster cage open, reminding me that parenting is a rollercoaster ride.
While I don’t have all the answers to parenting’s myriad challenges (if I did, I’d surely monetize that knowledge), I’m increasingly confident in my ability to respond appropriately in various situations. When I falter, I remind my kids of my love, forgive myself, and look forward to the new day ahead. For more insights into parenting and home insemination, check out this informative resource on infertility.
In summary, parenting is a journey filled with ups and downs, and every mom has her unique approach. Embrace the chaos, learn from experiences, and remember: you are not alone in this adventure. For additional tips and guidance on home insemination, visit this blog post and check out Make a Mom for trustworthy information.