As a new mother, it can feel like your worth is determined by your child’s sleep patterns, eating habits, developmental milestones, cleanliness, and behavior in public. I completely understand this mindset; I used to believe my parenting success was measured by how well my kids performed in these areas. If they hit those milestones on time (which, let’s be honest, isn’t a one-size-fits-all timeline), I thought I was nailing motherhood.
But when you really take a moment to reflect on who’s doing the grading, do you honestly care about their opinion? Probably not.
Looking back, I realize my anxious, over-scheduled approach didn’t ruin my kids. Sure, I had moments of panic over whether they were clean enough or fed on time, but they turned out fine. My daughter still laughs about how I would chase her with a hairbrush every morning, desperately trying to tame her wild locks.
As I navigate life with a teenager and two tweens, I see just how beneficial it would have been to ease up on the stress and anxiety. If I could redo those early years, I would in a heartbeat, because some things simply aren’t worth the worry:
- Their Eating and Sleeping Patterns
I used to stress if we weren’t home by 11:02 a.m. sharp to serve lunch and get the kids ready for a nap. While routines can help us function, it’s okay to loosen that grip occasionally. A frazzled mom leads to frazzled kids, and let me tell you, stressed kids don’t eat, sleep, or go to the bathroom well. - Cleanliness
There were times when I wouldn’t let my kids fall asleep in their high chairs, even though they were clearly exhausted. In my quest to keep them freshly bathed and dressed, I forgot that sometimes kids just need to crash. Instead of enforcing cleanliness, I should have let them enjoy their food and rest when they needed it. - Household Tidiness
I often panicked about having a spotless home in case unexpected guests arrived or I wanted to throw a playdate. Ironically, when kids entered my space, it looked like a tornado had hit. I wish I had focused less on a pristine house and more on enjoying spontaneous gatherings. - Fashion Choices
With three kids born close together, I got carried away with coordinating outfits. The reality? They hated matching clothes, and forcing them to wear what I thought was cute was a battle I never won. My time would be better spent on other priorities. - Food Choices
I nursed all of my kids and opted for organic baby food, which drained me. Now, they feast on sugary cereals and leftover Halloween candy. While I don’t advocate for junk food as a staple, it’s okay to ease up on the pressure of perfect nutrition. A bowl of Fruit Loops occasionally can be a lifesaver for your sanity.
Trust me, as a mom who has experienced it all, I have my fair share of regrets. Most stem from my own anxious handling of situations. If I had just calmed down a bit, I know my kids would have thrived even more. And for the record, I still think those shades were adorable!
So, new moms, remember it’s totally fine to stray from your schedule now and then. Allow yourself to relax, take a break from the routine, and even skip a bath here and there. You might not heed my advice, and that’s okay—I wouldn’t have listened either.
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Remember, it’s all about enjoying the journey, even if it means occasionally letting things go.