Updated: Dec. 29, 2016
Maybe my jeans are fitting a bit tighter than usual. Perhaps I’m noticing some jiggle in places that were once smooth. Or maybe my comfy pants are starting to feel like they belong in my regular rotation. Whatever the reason, it leads to the same conclusion: every year (okay, multiple times a year), I convince myself it’s time to shed some pounds.
I begin my journey where most people do — Pinterest. When my brain screams “healthy eating” but my heart yearns for “chocolate croissant,” I need a little inspiration. And it seems like Pinterest is overflowing with glowing recommendations for the Paleo diet.
There are countless mouthwatering recipes paired with images of fit individuals who have transformed their bodies thanks to this intriguing eating plan. The concept is straightforward: consume foods that our ancestors would have eaten, prior to the delightful invention of cupcakes and cookies. So, it’s mostly meat and vegetables. And while I enjoy my fair share of meat and veggies, here’s the catch: I crave bread.
No offense to the dedicated Paleo enthusiasts out there; I admire your commitment and your enviable figures. But I can’t help but dream of soft, fluffy buns cradling a delicious cheeseburger. Or those delightful, chewy pretzel rolls. Any bun described with words like “warm,” “gooey,” “sticky,” “buttered,” or “cinnamon” (or better yet, “warm gooey sticky buttered cinnamon” all together) has my heart. I’m not picky!
To me, our Paleolithic ancestors likely ate that way because they hadn’t yet discovered ovens or biscuits. Just imagine how much more enjoyable a long day of mammoth hunting would have been if they could’ve fueled up with a plate of pasta first! And their simple stew of rabbit and root vegetables could have been elevated to new culinary heights with a side of crusty bread.
Let’s face it, life in prehistoric times must have been pretty tough (No tampons! No heating pads! No ibuprofen!). Imagine enduring all that without the comforting presence of carbohydrates or sugar. The horror! Our cave-ladies would have had a much easier time if they could have indulged in a jar of Nutella while dealing with their… well, let’s just say, less-than-ideal sanitary options.
The reality is, as noble as these dietary guidelines are, our ancestors didn’t follow them due to concerns about cholesterol or because their friends were commenting on tight clothing. They simply ate what was available, which meant meat and veggies without the luxury of bakeries, cafes, or coffee shops.
I have a hunch that if our ancestors could see today’s Paleo followers turning their noses up at the delightful allure of bread in the name of health, they’d be like, “Your loss, buddy!” (Or some prehistoric equivalent). They’d probably enjoy a donut while vowing to hit the gym afterward — just like the rest of us.
So, to all the Paleo proponents out there, keep doing your thing — I truly respect your dedication. Meanwhile, I’ll be over here enjoying a basket of freshly baked rolls and embracing my muffin top with pride. Because, bread!
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In summary, while the Paleo diet may work for some, my love for bread keeps me firmly planted in the carb camp. There’s a certain joy in indulging, and I’m more than happy to embrace my love for those warm, doughy creations.