We welcomed our second child almost a year ago, and let me tell you, jumping back into baby life after a five-year break has been quite the adventure. It’s like riding a bike, albeit a bike covered in baby food and navigating through a minefield of toys and half-finished art projects while running on empty. But we’ve managed to make it work!
Parenting a 6-year-old and a baby means you need to be prepared for just about anything. Sure, my 6-year-old can somewhat manage on his own—until it’s time for homework, bed, bath, or meals. The baby, however, is another story and needs constant attention. Hence, it’s an all-hands-on-deck situation at home.
Throughout this journey, I’ve picked up some essential survival tips that help me get through the chaos. This list is for me (and you) and excludes the basics like diapers and snacks, which are obviously for the kids.
Here’s what I need to survive a day of parenthood:
- ALL THE COFFEE IN THE WORLD
- Aspirin
- Maybe some Xanax? (No shame here!)
- A little marijuana wouldn’t hurt
- A secret flask (shh!)
- A good nap (for the kids)
- A good nap (for me)
- Just a few moments of peace and quiet
- I’ll take quiet, any kind will do
- A muzzle, please!
- ALL THE PAPER TOWELS IN THE WORLD
- Five minutes to shower without interruptions
- Five minutes to use the bathroom in peace
- Five minutes to have a good cry
- Five minutes to be alone, even if it’s while getting a root canal—I don’t care!
- ALL THE ASPIRIN IN THE WORLD (again)
- My trusty phone
- No more laundry, please!
- A soft pillow to lay my head on
- A pillow to scream into when needed
- Just a smidgen of cooperation from the kids
- A little breathing room
- For it to be bedtime—both for them and for me!
- A LITTLE BIT OF HELP FROM MY PARTNER FOR ONCE
So there you have it—the essentials for surviving a day filled with the delightful chaos of parenting small children. Just don’t forget the paper towels or the muzzle!
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In summary, parenting small children requires a unique toolkit filled with humor, caffeine, and a dash of patience. Remember, it’s all about survival!