I love you more than words can express, and I would do just about anything for you. Think of all the time I’ve spent caring for you, even in the less glamorous moments. Yes, that includes the times when, let’s just say, things got a bit messy (looking at you, Tyler, and your infamous “explosion”). And yes, some of you still need a little help after your bathroom business.
Speaking of our beloved restroom, I do my best to keep it sparkling clean, yet you seem oblivious to my efforts. A tidy bathroom is often taken for granted until it’s a disaster zone. So, because I adore you both, here’s a list of bathroom etiquette rules that starts now (and Mr. Partner, you might want to pay attention too):
- Toilet Paper Goes on the Holder
I know you’re clever, but somehow the toilet paper roll ends up as a soggy mess on the floor after every use. Seriously, it belongs on the holder. Take a moment to put it back in its rightful place. - Check for Puddles
Every time you boys use the toilet, I find little puddles on the floor or toilet seat. When I ask about it, you act like it’s a mystery. Pee is yellow and has a distinct smell—clean it up! Better yet, how about aiming better in the first place? - Flush, Please!
I get that one of you is a bit apprehensive about the loud flush of our new toilet, but come on! You play video games that are way louder. Leaving your “masterpiece” behind is not an option. - Replace the Toilet Paper
Isn’t it nice to have plenty of toilet paper available? It doesn’t magically appear. Do your part and replace it when you notice it’s running low. It’s not a marathon to grab a new roll from the cabinet! - Close the Lid!
Did you know flushing with the lid up sends germs flying everywhere? That’s why we have lids on toilets—use them! - Bathroom Time is Limited
I understand that sitting on the throne can be your moment of peace and reflection, but remember, we share one bathroom. So while you contemplate life for a moment, please don’t take forever! - Wash Your Hands Properly!
Simply running your hands under water doesn’t count as washing. Lather up with soap and scrub them well! Sing a little tune if you need to, but please keep those germs at bay. - Use Air Freshener
Let’s face it—your bathroom visits don’t always smell like roses. A quick spritz of air freshener can work wonders!
There you have it—a lovely little list to guide you in the restroom. And here’s one more thing: when I retreat to the bathroom and say, “I’ll be just a minute,” let me have my peace! Honestly, if you could just allow me that small moment of solitude, I’d be grateful. It would make for a perfect New Year’s resolution, right?
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In summary, my beloved boys, your cooperation in these simple bathroom rules will make life a lot smoother for everyone. Let’s work together to keep our space clean and pleasant!