When it comes time to potty train, many parents feel ready. You might have read some guides or heard stories from friends, making it seem like a manageable milestone. Yet, once the process starts, it can be challenging for weeks or even months. There are accidents, behavioral changes, and a seemingly endless pile of laundry. But eventually, you celebrate as your little one transitions into a big kid! However, there’s an often-overlooked aspect of potty training: regressions.
These regressions can hit when your child starts school, catching you off guard, especially when you thought your kid was past that stage. I’m currently navigating this situation with my son, and it’s revealing some unexpected sides of myself. Just the other day, he got up from the sofa, wet and uncomfortable, and when I asked him about it, he simply shrugged and admitted to having an accident.
My partner and I have always reassured him that accidents are perfectly normal. We emphasize that there’s no reason to feel ashamed; after all, I experienced similar challenges growing up due to a bladder disorder that went undiagnosed until I was older. I was determined to ensure my son wouldn’t carry the same burden of shame. The good news? He generally doesn’t seem embarrassed when an accident occurs, which feels like a win.
However, everything changed when we moved out of the city during his first year of preschool. The disruption of routine and separation from his new friends led to a noticeable uptick in accidents. While there were still days without mishaps, others brought multiple accidents, and he often returned home in borrowed clothes because he had exhausted all his spare outfits.
We tried to approach the situation with positivity, gently encouraging him to use the restroom more often. Despite his past ability to listen to his body when it came to bowel movements, he started coming back from the bathroom claiming he couldn’t go, only to have an accident shortly afterward. Eventually, he revealed that he sometimes held it in because he didn’t like being told what to do. This was a revelation that made me realize how much pressure he might be feeling.
Now that he’s nearing five years old, I suspect he’s grappling with fear of missing out (FOMO) and simply ignoring his body’s signals. While I’ve consulted with our pediatrician, who believes it’s a behavioral issue, the power struggles are exhausting. He’ll refuse to drink water at school to avoid using the bathroom, and mornings have become a battle just to get him to go before leaving home. Despite my best efforts, from discussions to reward charts, nothing seems to provide a lasting solution.
Every day feels like a challenge, and my heart aches watching him struggle with something so natural. I can only hope that when well-meaning friends assure me he won’t be having accidents at 16, they’re right—for his sake.
Further Reading
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Summary
Potty training regressions can be a source of stress for parents, especially when they occur after a child has already been trained. The author shares their experience navigating these challenges with their preschooler, emphasizing the importance of managing expectations and open communication. The article highlights the need for patience and understanding during this natural part of childhood development.