Becoming a parent has been one of the most rewarding and profound experiences of my life. In 2006, I welcomed my first child, followed by a daughter in 2008. I’ve since married a wonderful man who has a daughter of his own, and we’re now eagerly awaiting the arrival of our first child together—just 78 days to go! With each child, my heart has expanded tremendously, yet the journey of parenting has certainly become more intricate.
Navigating parenthood today can feel overwhelming. We’re constantly faced with the task of determining what rules and boundaries work best for our families. This invisible standard of “good parenting” looms over us, with an endless checklist of expectations we strive to meet.
Where Does This Pressure Stem From?
I believe it’s partly self-imposed, but also influenced by well-meaning friends and family who share unsolicited advice, and the media’s portrayal of parenting. (Seriously, avoid following yoga instructors on Instagram during pregnancy!) Questions about our choices can leave us second-guessing ourselves:
- “Are you using cloth diapers?”
- “Making your own baby food is so much healthier than jarred options!”
- “I’m thrilled you plan to exclusively breastfeed!”
- “Do you know the recommended screen time for children?”
- “Only that much maternity leave?”
- “You should really consider going back to work sooner; studies show it benefits your baby to be around other kids.”
And let’s not even get started on the vaccination debate!
Funny enough, when I became pregnant nearly a decade after my youngest, people often assumed this was my first child, which made their questions both amusing and frustrating.
The Truth About Parenting
Here’s the truth I’ve learned: we won’t always have it all figured out, but parenting is an opportunity for growth and adaptation. Just when we think we know our children, they change, sometimes dramatically—especially when juggling preteens and a newborn on the way! We do our best, we stumble, but we always get back up and ask ourselves, “What can I take away from this?”
We must silence the negative thoughts and the unsolicited advice from others. It’s crucial to cultivate confidence in our decisions as parents, knowing that what we choose is in the best interest of our family. We draw from our childhood experiences to create a healthier and more joyful environment for our children. This is the essence of being a good parent, right?
Often, we seek validation from others, but the opinions of naysayers—some of whom may even be close friends or family—shouldn’t dictate our self-worth. What truly matters is how we feel about our journey. At the end of each day, we face ourselves, knowing we did our best. If we didn’t, that’s okay too; we’ll get another chance tomorrow. Every parent has rough days, and they don’t define us as bad parents.
Be Gentle with Yourself
So be gentle with yourself. Cherish the miracle growing inside you or the ones you’ve already brought into the world. Embrace the physical changes your body is experiencing, and listen to your intuition. There are no perfect guidebooks for parenting, but trusting your instincts will lead you in the right direction.
This morning, a quote popped into my head: “The days are long, but the years are short.” Enjoy this journey, and let go of the pursuit of perfection—starting now.
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In Summary
Parenting is a personal journey filled with challenges and triumphs. Embrace it with kindness towards yourself, and remember that you’re not alone on this path.