My son has spent around 3,642 nights wrapped up with his favorite blanket, likely dedicating about 6,783 hours to thumb-sucking. You know the saying that goes, “Your child won’t go to college or get married still sucking his thumb or clinging to a blankie”? Well, my son just might be that exception.
Like many parents, I’ve fretted about my son’s thumb-sucking habit. At almost 10 years old, he was certainly on the older side of what’s typically deemed “acceptable”—whatever that means. I worried he might face teasing from peers, concerned about potential damage to his teeth, and agonized over whether my parenting was lacking for not trying harder to curb his thumb-sucking and attachment to his blanket.
However, despite my worries, I never pushed him to quit. He was a solid sleeper, and his thumb and blankie were crucial to that comfort. So why disrupt a good thing?
Not everyone shared my chilled-out perspective. A few years back, I took my son to an orthodontist after his dentist suggested a consultation due to some early tooth loss. I mentioned my son’s thumb-sucking habit, stating it was unlikely to change anytime soon. What’s the rush to strip away these childhood comforts? Why force our children to grow up too quickly? I wanted to keep our peaceful bedtime routine intact.
But then, the orthodontist decided to employ an outdated tactic: shame. After chatting with my son about school and sports, he asked, “What would your friends think if they knew you were still sucking your thumb?” Instantly, I felt a surge of anger, but my son handled it like a champ.
“They wouldn’t say anything…because they’re my friends,” he replied. A-freaking-men!
Needless to say, we promptly found a new orthodontist who not only refrained from shaming my son but also reassured me that he would stop when he was ready. Meanwhile, my son’s thumb-sucking wasn’t something to worry about.
Experts often warn parents about prolonged thumb-sucking and reliance on comfort items, but they also remind us to chill out. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, “Thumb or finger sucking is a normal, natural way for a young child to comfort himself.” Children will typically let go of these habits as they develop other coping mechanisms. The AAP also notes that while many kids stop sucking their thumbs before school, pressuring them to quit can do more harm than good.
For nearly a decade, my son snuggled with his blanket while sucking his thumb, and despite my occasional anxieties, we never intervened. Then one day, out of nowhere, he simply stopped. It’s been months since he last sucked his thumb, and his blanket is now tucked away at the bottom of my nightstand. I’m a bit surprised (and a little wistful) about it.
Was my son perhaps too old for thumb-sucking? Maybe. Could we have taken his blanket away or pressured him to stop? Certainly. But at what cost? What would we have forfeited by pushing him to “grow up” sooner? Would we have communicated that other people’s opinions mattered more than his comfort?
Regardless of how one views thumb-sucking or any comforting behavior, one fact remains: shame does not help; it harms. True friends accept each other’s quirks, whether it’s thumb-sucking, bedwetting, or needing a parent nearby at night. Kids understand this; it’s often adults who forget.
So, despite my worries, my son likely won’t head to college still sucking his thumb, nor will he marry while clutching his blankie (unless it’s safely tucked away in a box of childhood memories when he moves out). Just as the experts advise, children naturally transition away from such habits when they are ready. They aren’t machines but individuals, developing and changing at their own pace.
In the end, they grow up—whether we’re ready for it or not.
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Summary: This piece discusses the common parental worry about older children who still suck their thumbs or cling to comfort objects. It emphasizes the importance of allowing children to grow at their own pace without shaming them, as true friends accept each other’s differences. Ultimately, children will outgrow these habits in their own time, and pushing them can do more harm than good.