Every weekday, I find myself in the thick of parenting young children. It’s a full-time job filled with wiping faces and bottoms, preparing meals, reading stories, and juggling activities. I help with schoolwork, coaxing kids to write, tackling math on the computer, and overseeing exciting science projects. I offer hugs, referee disputes over toys, and sometimes sneak away to the bathroom for just a moment of peace—though someone always manages to find me. My lunch often consists of whatever leftovers my kids leave behind, all while I let the dogs in and out, again and again.
At 4:30 p.m., my husband returns home, and we collapse onto the bed in front of the TV. He steps into the parenting role, cooking dinner and continuing the cycle of face-wiping and dispute resolution. I may feel exhausted and overwhelmed after a long day, but I recognize that I am not a single parent.
I wake up at a leisurely pace, whenever the kids rise. I don’t have to drag them out of bed at dawn for daycare because I need to be at work by 8 a.m. Unlike my friend Mark, a single dad, I don’t have to endure a job I dislike while wishing I could be home with my kids. I don’t have to rush out of work, fearing traffic and late fees for daycare. When the day is done, I don’t shoulder the entire burden of parenting alone. I hold immense respect for single parents.
There’s often talk of a divide between stay-at-home moms and those who work outside the home, and it can feel like we’re pitted against each other. But let me be clear: I don’t judge you—I admire you. I can’t fathom how you manage to parent without a partner. When my husband is away for a weekend, I struggle to keep everything afloat, and I can’t imagine doing it all without any breaks. You don’t have the luxury of knowing someone will step in when things get tough. If you fall ill, you have to keep going without someone to share the load. I often take this support for granted.
There’s a stereotype that stay-at-home moms look down on daycare, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I understand that daycare is a necessity for you, and you do your utmost to find a suitable place where your children are cared for. I can’t imagine the stress of searching for quality childcare, especially when places close unexpectedly, forcing you to scramble for solutions while keeping a close eye on your budget.
And then, after a long day of work, you come home only to dive back into parenting tasks—wiping faces, cooking meals, packing lunches, and cleaning the house. You handle every bit of laundry, from washing to sorting to folding, all while ensuring everyone has enough clean clothes. You are the sole keeper of socks and the one who remembers to restock ketchup and bread, even when it’s late at night. It’s those small details that make you the true heroes of parenting.
Despite all the challenges, you manage to keep your children nourished, loved, educated, and cared for. I am often overwhelmed even with help, and I know you feel the same, yet you push through.
Let’s put aside the debates about parenting styles and choices. We’re all exhausted from the endless online arguments, right? Let’s stop judging parents who may miss events or simply can’t do it all. Many of us don’t understand your struggles, but I see your happy, thriving kids, and I know you are doing an incredible job.
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In summary, whether you are a stay-at-home parent or a single parent, we all share the same ultimate goal: raising happy and healthy children. Let’s support one another in this journey.