I believe in allowing my kids to express themselves freely, as long as it’s appropriate and doesn’t hurt others or make them look foolish. I genuinely enjoy saying “Yes!” to their ideas and celebrating their individuality. However, I also have my boundaries. I often remind them, “I want to support you, but there are rules in place because I’m your parent. Please don’t be a jerk. Help me help you.”
Isn’t this what every parent desires for their children? To feel confident showing the world their true selves? I tend to lean toward affirming their wishes more often than denying them, and I’m proud of that. But I won’t hesitate to step in when their ideas veer into the ridiculous.
After all, isn’t that what parenting is about? Guiding our kids in the right direction, while still allowing them to have fun? We aim to prevent them from making poor choices that would diminish their unique flair, whatever the trendy term may be these days—maybe it’s ‘vibes’? I’m not sure, but I do know that if my son wants to grow out his hair into a man bun or my daughter wants an undercut with rainbow hair, I’m all in. Hand me the dye or the clippers; I might want to join in the fun. But if they suggest something inappropriate, like shaving a ridiculous design into their hair, that’s where I draw the line.
When it comes to music, I usually let them explore their interests. I remember jamming to hits from my youth (“Pour Some Sugar On Me,” anyone?), and I want them to feel just as fabulous. However, if I catch my son blasting music that objectifies women, I’ll swiftly take that speaker away—90’s style. That kind of content is unacceptable, and I want them to understand why.
I encourage my kids to express themselves through their clothing choices too. Sure, they might want to skip the coat on a freezing day to show off their outfit, and I can understand that. But if my daughter thinks it’s acceptable to wear a shirt that says “Ask About My Hooters,” she’s mistaken—and I’ll be quick to intervene.
Open communication is vital in our household. I want them to feel safe approaching me if they think I’m being unfair. I’ll always listen with compassion, as long as they speak to me respectfully—even when emotions run high. However, if they resort to insults like “You suck,” it’s time for a reality check. Perhaps a little cleaning duty will help them appreciate the comforts of home!
To summarize, being a “Yes Mom” doesn’t mean sacrificing boundaries. The outdated notion of “children should be seen and not heard” is harmful. We want our kids to be happy and empowered to make choices, yet sometimes I feel like a doormat because of that. Striking the right balance between allowing them to grow and guiding them effectively is challenging. They’re kids, after all, and they will occasionally get carried away.
Still, I find joy in saying yes more often than not and successfully navigating this parenting journey most of the time. After all, embracing a positive outlook is so much more enjoyable. Now, can someone pass me the scissors and crank up the music?
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